I have a problem

Hi, I'm a fairly well known League of Legends streamer and member of a professional gaming team. I'm using an old smurf account from a few years ago that I forgot about until now and I'm in incognito mode on my computer (can't be too safe) because I have a problem and don't want my issue to reflect poorly on my teammates and our group. I've been experimenting with lucid dreaming and I think I've gotten in a little too deep. What follows below is a copy-paste from an email I've sent to the people I trust most, with all references to identity of myself and them cut out. If you can somehow figure out who I am from this please don't spill the beans. I don't know what to do and need some advice.

I would describe myself as a "hardcore" fan of League of Legends (duh), I've had kind of a rougher life than most people I know and many times I would try to escape reality to that world with lucid dreaming. Most times I would be deep in the province of Piltover where I would often train with Caitlin and Vi at the station and sometimes help Jayce (my favorite champion) at his lab with whatever experiment he was working on. But one day as I was talking to Jayce, we went to my apartment building for a private talk. He gazed around my room, and said, "You know you could live with us forever.." I gave him a confused look and he continued, "We understand that you live on Earth, and... you REALLY wish to live here." I then said "How..how did you know?" For some reason at this point Mordekaiser burst into my room. He then laughed and said, "Because we've been watching you, fool! MWAHAHAHA!" This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there on the spot in my own dream. Jayce then said, "I talked with Heimerdinger and Rumble and they agreed that you would be perfect for the Fields of Justice, you just have to do... one thing." Jayce then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then asked him some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" He replied: "Heimerdinger said... 3 months before the universe wormholes collapse." I added: "What's the most painless way?" Mordekaiser howled again, "MWAHAHA! Suicide will require pain but if you want it quick, get a gun and shoot yourself in the head!" I then agreed and Jayce gave me a comforting hug, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here in Piltover and on the Fields of Justice with me, if you want...!" I then woke up. This was about two weeks ago. I purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life has never really been very good...what do I do? I'm not sure if this is my subconscious trying to tell me something. I've never been diagnosed with anything like a mental disorder but I do get down sometimes like everybody else. I need advice.

I'm debating posting this on the League subreddit but it's alot more high profile than here, I used to go to the old official League forums before it got updated when I first started playing League and it makes me feel more comfortable than reddit.

If no one wants to help I can give advice on the game I guess.