yep im looking for relationship advice in the miscellaneous section on the league website. my life is in the dumpsters.
-25 year old black guy staying with dad. shreveport, louisiana. unemployed.
i think i may be depressed.....
Play a LOT of video games.
Hey man, don't know how long you've been with her but if this your first real heartbreak all I have to say is:
You may think its the end of the world and that nothing will make you get over it. But that ain't true. Go get a job. Get your mind into something. You will meet people. You will get money. Money gets you shit you want, and shit you want makes you happier. And get a hobby. Try learning a new language or something. Don't sink down the depression and anxiety alley, cuz its just a fat juicy turd sandwich to eat anyway. You are the only person who is responsible for your own happiness. Ain't yo dad, ain't yo ex. You m9. 25 is young af. You still have lots of shit to experience. So don't give up on it just yet.
Cheers m8
Breakups always feel like forever. Feels like the pain will never go away. Feels like you will never find anyone like that person again. Feels like no one will ever understand what you are going through. Etc. But give it some time and it will just be a memory. After you allow yourself to be sad, just focus on improving your situation. Get a job and an apartment and soon you will meet someone else. I promise.
Time heals all wounds
Bone a fat chick. They are there for rebounding to help you get your confidence back.
Best advice I can give you is this I'm 37 and wasn't really into gaming until I found Age of Empires 2 and what online gaming was about, now I'm a hermit who hates social activities and people with a serious online gaming addiction lol.
When I was in my 17-20 age, I had a GF I went seriously ape shit over. Dunno why, but I was. Her family moved 2 hours away and every weekend I'd go up there and spend all the time I could with her. Then she became more and more distant and pretty much was telling me she didn't wanna be with me anymore, but I wasn't listening lol. So, I ended up wasting A LOT of other chances with other girls because I was crazy over this chick. Looking back I was an absolute idiot thinking about all the chicks I could of banged or have been with, but didn't because I spent all my time focusing on being with someone who didn't wanna be with me.
I've known my wife since I was 14. I was crazy about her ever since I laid eyes on her. But, I was with this chick and I had a chance to stop my wife from marrying another guy and I didn't because I was just so obsessed with this chick. So, after my wife got married to an abusive guy and had 2 kids that aren't mine and got a divorce 3 years later and then we finally hooked up and have been together ever since. I'd like to just go back in time and beat my old self with some common sense.
I'd find a way to get over it quick. Don't do like I did and waste so much effort and time into someone who doesn't waste as much effort and time as you do.
I hope you or any of you young pups find this info so helpful. I wish I had someone beat some sense into me 20 years ago.
P.S. Yeah it sounds confusing as I've read it over, lol. But trust me, if you take anything from this, it's DO NOT waste any time over redundant things you have no control over, you will possibly miss out on the best thing that could ever happen to you.
I've had exes do some pretty messed up things to me. One of them went to a mental hospital and told the doctors that I told her to cut herself. The worst part about that? That's how she broke up with me. (I've been in the self-harm position. I would NEVER wish that or recommend that to ANYONE.)
I've blacked out and woke up in hospitals for seemingly no reason until someone told me I flipped shit after my girlfriend (at the time) broke up with me.
Anyways, the point is that there's always someone who is having similar issues. However, the problem with these feelings of depression is that it will always end up making you feel lower than dirt compared to someone else. It lies to you. It lies so much and in such a convincing manner that it makes a person end up believing that they are alone and that no one wants them around. Here's the most important part: THAT IS A LOAD OF SHIT Do not believe it's lies. Do not let it make you feel worthless, alone, dark, or whatever else. They are, again, lies that are easiest to believe in hard times.
Onto getting past it - I, again like you, am in my early-mid 20s living with my parents. It sucks and that alone is enough to make a person feel like a second-class citizen. It's part of the reason I play video games. They're fun, and I have an odd passion for it that no one seems to understand, but people in them have no idea who I am, where I come from, what I look like, etc. It's a quick and easy escape. I urge you to try it or something you have passion for when things feel too hard. Be careful, though, as it can very well turn into more of an addiction than a healthy, reasonable coping mechanism. Not a physical addiction, but a mental one. Similar to the mental aspect of the common drug and alcohol addictions, one can end up using it as an escape to a point where there is no other way to feel good.
If you truly feel like you have developed a mental illness of some sort such as depression, don't be afraid to seek help for it. Doctors, therapists, hotlines, friends, whatever. Don't be ashamed to ask. I always said the #1 cause of depression is no one to talk to. I realize more and more every day how truthful that really is. I'm talking about face-to-face conversation. Social networks, video games, texting, or phone calls will never replace our natural way of communicating.
Liquor, League, Left hand.
Get up! Get dressed! Look for work 8 hours a day till you find a job.(even if it is crap flipping burgers) Once you find that Job start looking for a career. Never stop bettering yourself. Even if all you do is add 15 min workout daily or read a book for 15 minutes. Focus on what you can do. Focus on bettering yourself and you will see a difference in the rest of your life.
Don't look to a woman to give you meaning in life.
I found that relationships were much easier after I figured what I wanted from life. Women that didn't meet my criteria were much easier to move on from at that point. Selecting a new interest was also easier, as I knew what was worth pursuing.
You should be the one leading, not following.
Not just applicable to women but honestly just don't have an attachment to anything. To have any attachement to anything without the ability or knowledge that one day that thing will not be there anymore is unhealthy for you. If you do find someone you like and they seem to like you too, don't delude yourself that you'll be together forever. Many people do this and when the day comes where he/she/it is gone, you have issues with letting them go. Im not saying dont care about something/someone, just dont be attached to that feeling. Even with you getting over your GF, feel the feelings that come with it. That's natural. Just don't hold on to those feelings. When they've run their course and they're ready to go, let them go. Otherwise you just cause suffering to yourself, and noone want's to suffer.
Replace her
Nail her best friend and her sister?
That generally works for me.
Seek help from your local GP or something if you think you may be depressed.
Remember that suicide is never an acceptable answer to confronting the absurdity that is an every day life without meaning.
Everything in life has cycles. Do you feel sad at the end of an amazing movie because it's over? No, you say "wow, that was an amazing movie while it lasted." The same is true with relationships. No relationship lasts forever. Some will last a day and some will last 60 years but ultimately they will end. It's natural to grieve when that relationship ultimately ends but sooner or later you have to stop focusing on how the relationship ended or how you wished the relationship would have been. Instead, focus on the positives. What was good about the relationship? What did you learn from the relationship? How did you grow as a person? What mistakes did you make and how can you learn from them?
I've been dumped, I've been cheated on, I've even been divorced. But ultimately every relationship I've been in has made me a better man because I've learned from my mistakes. Every relationship has forced me to grow and change into the man I am today, the man that my best friend and wife fell in love with. Turn this break up into a positive and you will eventually find someone a million times better than your ex. It's a long, painful, difficult road but it is so worth it in the end.
haha first love is hard because it teaches u all the things u never new in ur heart and mind u will always have those feelings u should choose 2 feel them and always feel glad that u have had them rather then not like everyone says you have 2 move on but dont ever once belive that just becasue she isnt yours anymore that she was never good. always ahve the good memories and try and find someone out there thats better and you will because ur ex is a bitch amirite? Gl bro have fun
