As the ranked season came to an end...

...I sat and watch my screen say "defeat" one final time. I knew this was my final stand and it had been in vain. My valiant effort to carry my team weren't enough. I sat in my rolly chair; empty. My knees came up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them holding them close to my chest. I wept. I had been working for an entire 2 seasons, day after day after day, working to get to gold. My peak at silver 1 (56 lp) showed some hope in this dream to come to a reality. Tilt hit me and hard. Silver 1 0 lp, demoted, silver 2 0 lp, demoted silver 3 75 lp. I made it up to silver 2 0 lp by the end of Sunday night(11/9) sitting in that chair weeping. I realized there was no humanly possible way to get to gold, on my own, by the deadline. I had been failed to surpass the goal I had set. I sat there as I go to my friends profiles seeing everyone on my ranked team reaching the goal I had so desired. I was a failure. I wasn't good enough. I never am. Next season will be the start of a whole new adventure, just like this past one. My journey from bronze 4-silver 1(silver 2) has been one of many smiles and many disappointments. The pressure of this competitive side of league is immense. But sometimes I don't understand why losing a game you had a perfect score and were playing to your beyond best of your ability, better than your teammates, sets you back so much. As I would watch myself lose 20 lp for a game I went 7/3/3 and playing very well for the mistakes of my teammates makes no sense. Yes, I should lose some for not winning but I don't think I should lose about the same amount or such i a great chunk for not being able to single handed lay win the game. Maybe riot should implement something to balance this out and make one who does exceptionally well on the team or just better than average not be punished as hard as those who didn't. Maybe, just maybe. Sorry for this long rant/pity story about me not getting to gold and how I don't like this ranked system. Please no hate >.