Goodbye

I know post like these show up all the time, but I don't care anymore. Goodbye League, I played you for a year and a half, and all in all I have is one thing to say, I'm sorry. Don't be confused I do hate this community profoundly, I started out as just somebody with to much time on their hands and looking for something to do, which brought me to League, and I was actually quite nice at first. I made sure to say glhf at the beginning of every game and to honor people at the end of every game. I devoted myself to playing support because I knew it was a role others didn't want to play, so if I did it other players wouldn't have to. I'd tell me ADC GJ everytime they got kills, even if they called me a horrible support and that I should kill myself. But in the end, I became just as toxic as they were. Next thing I knew I was one of those toxic players that's "ruining" this community. I hated myself so much, so much I even cried sometimes, as pathetic as that sounds, but I just couldn't stop. There's just something about this game that brings out my hate and soon not even a single game went by that I didn't tell somebody they were worthless and should uninstall, but at the same time I loved it. To get out all the anger, it felt like ecstasy. I developed a horrible relationship with this game, constantly changing from self hatred to bitter sweet rage, but over time that self hatred grew and grew. I was literally sickened with myself, I hate hurting others on any level, this self hatred grew to the point even in real life when I wasn't on the game I hated myself. Eventually the anger also followed me outside of the game and into my real life. I almost came to the point of suicide, but like the pathetic coward I am I couldn't do it. This game, this community, it was all so addicting, I would waste hours of my life playing it, letting out all that anger.

Now however, I can't play anymore, because I was permabanned, and with that I'm finally free. I'm free from the self hatred, the anger, hurting others in this horrible community. To all of those I ever offended, or had the displeasure of playing with me, I'm sorry. I am so sorry, I can't even begin to apologize enough. Please don't think of this post as some toxic player who just wants to try and get their account unbanned, I don't think I ever want to play this game again, or some little emo bitch seeking attention, but as somebody sincerely apologizing for all the horrible things they have done. I stand before this community, metaphorically speaking, as a pathetic excuse of a human being seeking redemption for all the awful things I've done. If it makes any of you feel better, that self hatred will never leave me. I'm sorry.