Got Emotional Because Of Being Too Competitive

I totally understand the board rules and all, and I got punished for my irrational behavior. After all this talk about raging out, and got really depressed. That last 'deleted' post I made about suicide went too far for the boards and I got banned. I was in 2 groups on Facebook about this game. After I lost some battles, I got SUPER angry and got SUPER sad. I made a few posts on Facebook and need some way to improve, but some people are very MEAN. And I don't take that very lightly. So, I completely lost control on my feelings and specifically my temper and tell them off and completely cursed them out. And I typed like I was literally screaming my lungs out and WENT almost psychotically insane. And before you know it, I got kicked out on both of those Facebook groups.

I went online and need to figure out why. And I figured it out what is wrong with me. I thought it's because I'm a lot jealous because most, almost all people, perform better than me. BUT IT'S NOT MY JEALOUSY! It's my over-competitiveness that made me lash out and got me in a ragey, and a super depressed and almost suicidal, mood. I really shouldn't care about losing, but my over-competitiveness pushed it aside. I went to many links to help me on the inside, especially this link from Wikihow, http://www.wikihow.com/Stay-Calm-While-Losing-a-Video-Game

The reason for this post is I need to get better not just physically, but emotionally. I need to get better not just in this game, but I need to get better with my spirit.