How do people make friends?
There must be something I'm missing. Never had friends or even so much as been on a date (I'm halfway through 23 now) -- and I'm really just sick of being alone.
So what's the secret?
18 Comments
Fear.
You need to get off your chair and get out.
Be authentic.
Do what you love, be good at it, be informed. Have goals, projects, dreams.
Care more about yourself than others and people will come to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q3jApEw0YA
Read the lyrics (and listen the song). If you got time, watch the anime which it is from too, it's called "Barakamon" (it's roughly translated to "An easygoing person" in a local Japanese dialect). The series' synopsis is about a stoic and overly prideful calligrapher going to the countryside to learn to appreciate other people and things and ended up making friends.
Basically: Friendship and relationships, like arguments and fights, are naturally occurring things in human interactions. But as long as you're true to yourself, and also aren't full of yourself, relationship kinda just happens.
Though one might also need to get the right chance too, so don't miss out on opportunities when you see one.
But ayy.
If you want to get some friends, there's a lot of people I know that are friendly and would love to get to know anyone.
Sometimes if you are surrounded by bad people it's not you who have the problem.
You will get tons of friends being nice to people that are nice!
Go outside. Say hi. Worst thing they can tell you is "fuck off"
I struggled making friends when I was younger. I started by having one friend, then made friends with his friends, and made friends with their friends. Eventually I had an infectious network of people that I knew, and when I graduated High School everybody personally knew me, and I was a stranger to nobody.
Then I got to University, and I don't see people for more than 6-7 weeks, so I don't bother remembering names. It's either Brett, Hunter, Zack or some variation of "ka" like Katy, or Mikayla, or Michelle.
My advise to you is, don't be yourself if you're awkward. If you want to have a strong circle of friends, you want to be a person that you yourself would want to be friends with. Be that person. Don't listen to what someone else repeats.
As far as being 23 and trying to make a single friend now, I have no clue. I would say that your environment is a large factor.