Boards›[ARCHIVED] Miscellaneous

I don't know where else to go..

NvestmentPlanker··5 votes·474 views

Tomorrow morning I'm going to be putting my dog to sleep. Growing up I was the type of kid that asked his parents for a dog every birthday and Christmas. LIterally I'd give my parents my Christmas wishlist and it would always only be that I wanted a puppy. My parents always said no leaving me devastated but always hopeful for next year when I knew I'd ask again. Finally, on Christmas in 2001, I opened up a box (not wrapped of course) and there was MY terrier/poodle mix bundle of fluff. The dog was for the family, but everyone knew it was more-so for me. This dog has been my best friend for nearly 16 years and the past 4 months of seeing him deteriorate in health with his vision going completely, his back legs starting to not work, and his crying out at night in pain has been so unbelievably hard on me and my mom/dad. It just hurts and I'm the type of person to not want to openly talk to someone in person about my feelings or about the immense pain I'm feeling. So I turned to this. To post anonymously and vent. I don't really know what I'm expecting in doing this but I honestly couldn't think of anywhere else to open up about this. I'm feeling pretty empty and lost. Boomer is his name.

9 Comments

Galacius4 votes

{quoted}

Tomorrow morning I'm going to be putting my dog to sleep. Growing up I was the type of kid that asked his parents for a dog every birthday and Christmas. LIterally I'd give my parents my Christmas wishlist and it would always only be that I wanted a puppy. My parents always said no leaving me devastated but always hopeful for next year when I knew I'd ask again. Finally, on Christmas in 2001, I opened up a box (not wrapped of course) and there was MY terrier/poodle mix bundle of fluff. The dog was for the family, but everyone knew it was more-so for me. This dog has been my best friend for nearly 16 years and the past 4 months of seeing him deteriorate in health with his vision going completely, his back legs starting to not work, and his crying out at night in pain has been so unbelievably hard on me and my mom/dad. It just hurts and I'm the type of person to not want to openly talk to someone in person about my feelings or about the immense pain I'm feeling. So I turned to this. To post anonymously and vent. I don't really know what I'm expecting in doing this but I honestly couldn't think of anywhere else to open up about this. I'm feeling pretty empty and lost. Boomer is his name.

I have a cat and his name is Kuma. I was young when we found him... he was a stray so he prowled around the night. Well, we were in the desert and we saw this cat walk in the middle of the road and a drunk driver not giving a care in the world ran over the top of him. He ducked and was unharmed, but I went out into the road as a child and picked him up. I fought with my mom about keeping him, but eventually she let me have him. He's my little stray pain in the butt, but I've grown up with him and he's loyal to me. Eventually, I will have to deal with his passing and I will be in your shoes. What I can say is you shouldn't repress those feelings, feel you're weak, or prevent yourself from crying. You'll be better with grieving in your own way and coping with the loss of your pal. It's going to be hard, but I feel they never truly leave you even when they're not there. A little piece of them still remains inside your heart.

I hope these words get to you.

  • Galacius
NvestmentPlanker1 votes

Thank you for your own personal story of a furry companion that you love dearly and for your kind words. It isn't going to be easy and it will take a very long time to get over it. He is the only pet I've ever had. I've often said dogs are far better than people for their unwavering loyalty and pure kindness. I love this dog with all my heart and it shakes me to the core every time he cries out in pain at night. Words cannot express how much I hate this and what I would do to be able to change this.

Terozu2 votes

I know how you feel, when i was almost 3 years old my family got a little Yellow Lab puppy named Bo, I slept with him in his puppy bed and played with him every day, anytime I was sad he was sitting in my lap crying with me, cheering me up. he was my good boy. Just recently(a couple months ago) he passed away in his sleep, he'd had bad eyes, failing back legs, and multiple tumors on his body, he was 15 in march, I was devastated, i literally had no memories of my life when I didn't have this dog. It'll feel better after a while, until then, I'm sorry for your loss, it sucks, but it's part of life, and think about it this way; now, you get a new dog, you get to start all over, getting to learn about it and having it love you unconditionally, always by your side, never replacing your old dog, but always having a new special place in your heart.

NvestmentPlanker1 votes

Yeah, when we first got my dog we tried cage training him and having him sleep in a cage at night. But I would sneak down in the middle of the night and take him upstairs to my room to sleep with me. He's always been my best companion. I am sorry for your loss as well. I'm glad you have fond memories to draw upon. I don't know about getting another dog. Going through this pain and terrible loss all over again seems too much. Yes it's worth the memories, laughs, and unconditional love, but it fucking hurts.

Terozu1 votes

The only thing I can say to that is... Yes, yes it does, even now if I;m sitting somewhere occupied or not, my mind sometimes drifts to him, and I still start crying.

UnboundHades1 votes

i dont understand how lol boards is the best place to go when there are a ton of just better places to talk about this that have a more active community

NvestmentPlanker1 votes

I play League a lot. I'm on the Boards a lot. I had just gotten home from work and was on here reading posts to get my mind off of what's to come tomorrow morning. It dawned on me that I could just write a post venting about how I feel because it might make me feel slightly better. And no, it probably isn't even close to the best place to discuss matters such as this, but this is where I chose to post because I've been a part of the League community since Season 4 and sometimes it's nice to read posts such as this to see the human side of the people we play this game with. It isn't all just toxicity and winning. And maybe someone will come across this that is dealing with the same pain/situation and feel some semblance of hope.

SpookyNeedle1 votes

I had my cat die several months ago. December 27th 2016. She was 17 years old, died in her sleep. Was the first time I cried in several years. I'll miss you Mocha

NvestmentPlanker1 votes

I'm sorry for you loss

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