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On the Brink of Permaban

Ulfgar Torunn·11/23/2014, 6:49:50 PM·3 votes·990 views

I've been playing League for a little under 2 years, and during this time I've gradually watched myself change from being an eager and friendly newbie to a toxic and hateful veteran. I've called people every name in the book, from using expletives and racial slurs, to sexist, homophobic, violent and otherwise highly offensive language.

I would like to apologize to everyone who I've offended and hurt over the last 2 years. In the past I have been so focused on winning that I let my frustration get the better of me, and I've tried . I just want everyone to know that I'm doing my best to improve my attitude and to resolve the real life issues that have lead to my toxicity. Using League as an outlet for my anger is an abuse of the chat feature and only worsens my feelings of self-resentment. I only recently realized how unhealthy this toxicity is for myself and fellow players, and I am doing my best to improve my behavior.

I have around 50 games left until my chat restriction is lifted and Riot re-evaluates my account. Considering my past record and how many chances I have been given I wouldn't be surprised if this was the end for me. This is an appeal to the community to help make my last 50 games count. If you see me in game please help me stay level headed for our mutual benefit, and maybe a word of encouragement to remind me that there are still kind people left in the community. If I can make it 50 games without being toxic perhaps I can do 100, or 200, or even end my toxic behavior all together.

Give this thread some attention please, and feel free to leave constructive comments. If I have said something to offend you personally, if you have a similar story of redemption, or if you have any words of encouragement/wisdom let me know below.

18 Comments

Hoi Im Temmo11/23/2014, 6:58:27 PM4 votes

I make a point of not remembering the names of those who offend me: maybe you have, perhaps not: but either way, dont be to hard on yourself. A game that so many of us are this passionate about leads to strong emotions - this thread here is a start, potential for you to remodel and improve both yourself and your feeling in game. I doubt there is any person in the game who simply has not raged: we have all been there. Chat restriction is intended for you to have a chance to come to this kind of conclusion, and hopefully work forward.

Congrats on your first step, and continue forward.

Legostrike11/23/2014, 7:03:21 PM4 votes

You don't have to be 'nice,' per say, just not insulting. Stuff like "We can't win" isn't bad, but just not good. Stuff like "YOU SUCK" is what's going to get you banned. Blame kills you. Personally, I'm not a positive player, but I keep my comments to what our team needs to do, who's carrying us, suggestions like "play passive and we got this", and comments like "sheesh that Riven is fed" when I get instashot. Requests such as "Could you engage next time please Leona?" seem to also be fine.

Considering where you are at, this grey area may not help. I would just ignore anything to do with people and become the tactician, calling shots but not really pointing something out about other players unless it's positive (or helpful, but until you're free of this that's quite a line to tread."

That's the best advise I can give you. Good luck.

TyHub1811/23/2014, 7:50:43 PM1 votes

The problem now is if you were toxic in the past there's no possible way to reform. Now that the tribunal is apparently "In Recess", the new system takes your past offenses into account. So say you have been reformed and are doing better. Some dick gets in the game and reports you for no reason. Because of your past history, a 60 game chat restriction is given to you. How do I know this? I was toxic in the sense that I would do well then my team would lose me the game. I've gotten better and turned my behavior around but with this "New innovative system" as Lyte and the other league staff calls it, I still get restricted.

AbodyHUN66611/23/2014, 11:08:53 PM1 votes

I would suggest "wasting" your chat on complimenting anything a teammate does well. You see an ally kill someone, type gj. Your team takes dragon, say gj team. Someone takes a tower say nice job. This way you will start to appreciate the little things and you won't be able to rage in chat. Also avoid rankeds, the competitive scene can get the worse side out of me too. Next time you see someone doing poorly and they say they are sorry tell them it's okay, just a bad game or it's not the end of the world. You won't believe how glad they will be. Good luck with reforming. :)

Ulfgar Torunn11/24/2014, 3:28:50 AM1 votes

Well I just finished a game with a terrible Riven who fed enemy Nasus super hard and then went AFK.

I managed to keep my language clean and not have an apparently hostile attitude. So I guess that's a start.

AbodyHUN66611/24/2014, 9:48:11 AM1 votes

And this is why you should avoid ranked sometimes :D

PrimeeTimee11/24/2014, 4:33:31 PM1 votes

Mute all 9 other players upon entry into the rift. I started doing this 3 months ago after my last 300 game chat restrictions. The game is so much friendlier when you act like you are just playing with BOTS :)

Drunk Rummate11/24/2014, 7:29:57 PM1 votes

it's easy to get angry about something you spend most of your free time doing. when you get really involved in an activity you tend to notice the negative parts of it more and it's easier to take the positive experiences for granted.

you may hate to hear it, but playing with more moderation (IE playing less) will probably improve your attitude about the game and your teammates. if you ever find yourself getting angry, just stop playing. watch an episode of your favorite cartoon or tv show or anime or whatever, watch a movie, play a musical instrument, go for a short run, whatever floats your boat. just stop playing league for at least 30 minutes or so to let your brain refresh.