Top 8 reasons why Riot should gift me Pax Jax

For the longest time, I've wanted the Pax Jax skin. But alas, Riot has killed that dream for me. So how can I possibly obtain it, you may ask? Simple - I'll show Riot how dumb they'd have to be not to give me the skin. So sit back, relax, and revel in how much you agree with me. 8 is my lucky number, so here's a top 8 list on why Riot should send me Pax Jax.

Reason 1 - I'm awesome.

It's true. It's written on my MySpace.

Reason 2 - I support Riot. A lot.

So the next bit, I put a lot of work into. Do you know how hard it is to pull up all 127 Champion portraits and count how many skins you have? Well I did. And I have at least 1 skin for every champion. But that's lame. One skin per champion? How about, statistically speaking, 2.314 skins per champion, because I do. That's a lot of skins - 294 to be exact. A free one on the house would be nice.

Reason 3 - I'm not as greedy as I could have been.

Originally, I was going to make this a post about why Riot deserves to give me all the skins. But upon further reflection, while I definitely deserve and will happily take every skin unlock in the game, I decided to instead make a more modest ask for Pax Jax.

Reason 4 - I call Riot 'Riot' instead of 'Rito'.

Doesn't that just make you cry every time you see that Riot? Cause it does for me.

Reason 5 - You'd get a lot of positive press.

Among my many mistakes in life, I'm a graduate with a Communications Degree. To be fair, it's due to a crippling fear of success and money. Anyways, of my many courses, Social Media had a big focus. And you could totally get Kotaku or any other clickbait article to pick up on this. It's just tongue and cheek enough to make people laugh, and it'd make you look good for relatively easy work.

Reason 6 - I'll main Jax for like a week after you give it to me.

I mean, he's no Karthus, but Jax is a pretty cool dude. He can do stuff. And I'd play with my new toy for a while. I swear.

Reason 7 - How funny would it be to see a Silver player with that skin?

Have you ever seen a SIlver Player with a Pax Jax skin? No, because you probably play against good players. I am not one of them. I mean, it'd be hilarious. People would think I'm way better then I actually am. So that's something.

Reason 8 - If you don't, I'll pretend to boycott you but, as you can clearly see, I won't.

I mean, seriously. I own 294 skins. I plan on breaking 300 when the Harrowing happens. But I'll pretend like I didn't.

Barring a free Pax Jax skin, I'll also take a consolation prize of a job at Riot games. Not doing anything important (again, Communications Major here), but I'd be a cool guy for their social media team.