Riot, you might even be right about DQ, but...

But you're right like a diamond smurf who goes in 1v5 because his team won't follow his excellent call.

The team isn't with you, and you have to change course. Make DQ for normals, and people can enjoy playing that way with their friends. Make ranked solo only, but keep the excellent role selection feature. That's my two cents, as someone who actually LOVES DQ (playing mostly solo/duo still). It's fine in low elo, honestly, and I think that's what your data shows.

So keep it for uncompetitive play. This is something you rolled out too fast for competitive. When it's fixed (and you already admitted it was broken, so don't even go there), you can try again in ranked. And the die-hard soloQ fans will hate that I even left that caveat. But the point is, it's broken right now, so quit making people play it. They don't like it.