Dr. Phil comes to mid lane.
Last time on Dr. Phil, Gragas was forced to come to the brutal reality that he is not a sacred vessel of liquor, but in fact just fat. This time, he will speak to the oppressed denizens of mid lane and their oppressors to try to mediate a discussion and help assassins understand the kind of pain they cause.
Dr. Phil: "Now, Leblanc, I know you like playing tricks on people, but you've gone too far multiple times."
Shakes head
Crowd boos
Dr. Phil: Well, I guess you gotta talk to someone who gets it. Here we have somebody who has suffered because of your abusive actions.
Sad expression
Dr. Phil: Now, Vel'Koz, ya don't need to be shy. I just want you to talk about a few things she's done and how it made you feel.
W...well, she... she put a sigil on me.
Dr. Phil: And how did that make you feel?
It hurt, but it wasn't horrible.
Dr. Phil: ...I see. And what did she do after she put the sigil on you?
SHE DASHED AT ME! Ohoh my god... she d-dashed at me... breaks down crying
Dr. Phil: Now, Leblanc, this is what your actions do to others. Do y'see now?
Disappears into thin air
Dr. Phil: Damn it, Leblanc! Ya can't run from your problems and hope they disappear like you can!
Dr. Phil: Zed, Talon. Do y'all know why you're here?
 To waste my time.
 Emb-emb-emb-emb-
Dr. Phil: Zed, you're gonna have to take this a little more seriously.
 Hmph.
Dr. Phil: We're gonna have a few people who were hurt by the things you did come up and we'll see if you don't understand the consequences of what you do. Come on up, Taliyah.
 I thought Ionians were good people... until I met HIM! *Points at Zed*
 You asked for it when you threw a rock at me.
 I told you to catch!
 Stupid little rock bit-
Dr. Phil: Alright, settle down now. We won't get anywhere by bickerin' and hollerin' at each other. Now, since we can't seem to have a normal conversation on this show, we're gonna have one way conversations here.
 I AM POWER INCARNATE!
Dr. Phil: I asked how you *feel.*
 I... I *WAS* POWER INCARNATE...
 My poor body was destroyed by that Noxian brute with the knives!
 Silence, head.
Dr. Phil: Now, that's not very nice.
 ...
Dr. Phil: Sona, how did these two men attacking you make you feel?
 ...
Dr. Phil: You see, this is a talk show, we *talk* through our feelings.
 ...
Dr. Phil: *Sigh* What did you do to this poor lady?
 *Giggles while flapping his arms*
 *Blushes, runs off the stage in tears*
Dr. Phil: Oh...kay then.
 I used to speak the chants and mantras of Ionia in tranquility... but now...
Dr. Phil: Now what?
 He corrupted and perverted them... I cannot utter them anymore...
 Sa eleisa terrible.
 N-no! Stop!
 Gaen na DDD!
 Stop! STOP!
 Lath Ri amd Bone Me!
 *Screams and runs backstage*
Dr. Phil: Zed, you need to calm down.
 I will conquer the universe and make it bend to my will!
Dr. Phil: Is that what you really think?
 N-no... they... they cut me and laughed at me while I was bleeding fromy my dismembered leg as I tried to crawl away...
 HAHAHAHAHA I REMEMBER THAT!
 Heheh, that was one of the best.
Dr. Phil: What the hell is wrong with you two?
 *Stares down Zed and Talon*
  *Stare back intrigued*
 ...not ok.
 You know, Talon... um... I don't feel too good about this whole bullying thing anymore...
 What, you chickening out? You gonna chicken out, grill boy?
Dr. Phil: *Stands up* Y'all two need to settle down-
 *Stabs Dr. Phil in the stomach, audience starts screaming*
#We'll be right back
