The Multi-Shen Theory
Before I begin: yes. I'm bringin' it back. And no, Chad. I will not make your waffles for you. Make them yourself damn it.
#The Multi-Shen Theory
Many speculate that Shen, unlike the other ninjas, is neither assassin-like nor stealthy. He can dash every now and then, and he has a sword, but then he just eats hits to the face. Well, here's the thing: there is more to Shen than you see. In fact, there are more to the Shens you do not see.
Through the arts of culinary linguistics, quantum theory, time travel compendiums, nanogenetic magazine collecting, and boy scout tracking, I have discovered that Shen is, in fact, many Shens.
##How his kit works The Shen you see at the moment is a Shen. He is visible to his opponent. His glowing spirit sword is a Shen dressed up in neon. The tether is a bunch of invisible Shens holding up a shiny bundle of strings. When Shen 'pulls' the spirit sword, the spirit sword Shen is actually being pulled via the bundle of strings. As to how he passes through enemies, I am not sure how. I tried asking the visible Shen but he gave me this weird look and walked away, seemingly disgusted.
Shen's passive shield is easy to explain, which is why I will leave that for the next section.
Shen's W is actually a giant tarp held by invisible Shens around the sword. The real dodge zone is the body blocking of all the Shens around it. Not to worry, no Shens are harmed in this process.
Shen's E explains his long cooldown. Have you ever seen a crowd do the 'wave?' Well, similarly each Shen poses and reveals himself briefly before allowing the next Shen to do the same, creating a frame-by-frame rendition of Shen dashing. So it looks like one Shen doing a fluid dash. It's difficult, so it has a long cooldown.
Shen's ultimate is also simple. Visible Shen does some channeling stuff while invisible Shens place purple hula-hoops around him. At the moment of teleportation, visible Shen goes invisible while a Shen at the place where he was 'teleporting' makes himself visible.
##The nitty-gritty
So now we know how Shen does his parlor tricks... except his shields. Here's the thing: health in League of Legends is actually determined by how many invisible Shens are body blocking you. Shields are the same way. These Shens are highly trained to follow a champion's every move so that movement is not hindered.
Shen's passive summons a handful of Shens to body block for a bit. That's what it is.
##Future developments
I am currently utilizing my chemical sterilization skills to determine if other resources in League of Legends also follow this rule. I also have reason to believe that jungle monsters are invisible Shens of the trapeze variation, and that the ground is simply many durable, patient Shens.
That concludes my report. In short:
Everything Shen does is actually many invisible Shens doing illusions. Health in League is determined by how many Shens are body-blocking you.
Please fund my research at www.shenpaidono.gov. 1 dollar will get you a Shen bobblehead 5 dollars a printed paint rendition of Shen 100 dollars will get you a recommendation to a licensed psychiatrist.
