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Hi, Its NZL, I just want to say thanks...

NazZomLord·11/8/2015, 6:12:54 AM·8 votes·2,184 views

http://media.giphy.com/media/19jcWuNGzaI5W/giphy.gif Well before i begin i hope you don't mind giving a bit of a backstory of myself.

All of my life i have been terribly bullied and a outcast, friends never really ever were a part of my life due to alot of problems with my personal and social life. I have changed schools 15 times, expelled twice, and in a new house 10 times. I never knew my father my entire life and my mother does all she can to help provide for us (God Bless Her for Everything). I work as many hours i can after college to help, i just hand her the check and take what i can for gas money. I suffer from depression, constant panic/anxiety attacks, ADHD so i really have a hard time concentrating and keeping it together. As for school i failed almost every class and got by with the lowest grades possible, college is kinda going okay for me. http://33.media.tumblr.com/4b31451e0f6184a502b52f325c8d3973/tumblr_inline_noo6f4iL0v1tq3tdt_500.gif I have sadly a little bit ago been cutting and hurting myself in terrible ways, my family didnt find out til i was basically unconcious bleeding and just waiting to go. I know, i know, death is a cowards way out, and that it would be terrible to do that to my family, but i just was low...low enought to try... I felt like i never deserved any love or to bother with me.

Skip 3 weeks

I saw a kinda meh ad for LOL and clicked on it, being a shut in i was at the moment i kinda just didnt cared and wanted to try it. Best decision ever.ever. Thx to this game i can always get a small smile from playing my favorite champion or writing a small story based on my ideas and ideas of the great battlefields. Basically it just kinda takes my mind off of everything happening. Now that i post on the boards every once and awhile its awesome to see people like the GIFs i post and share ideas and thoughts. http://24.media.tumblr.com/565fe5688cca250fc6d5a416e3d2d2a7/tumblr_my7f1uQBag1slh7l9o1_500.gif Well...Just thanks everyone i guess for being so great, and to all of you i have played games with, :P i know i suck, i just have a ton of fun withJinx Mid.

so...Ill start posting again real soon, i promise. Ive been in the hospital for a small breakdown (they let me play LOL in the place tho :D) See you All soon.

17 Comments

Niyumi11/8/2015, 8:46:40 AM2 votes

I have anxiety and panic attacks, depression, OCD and so many other things so badly that I can hardly function the majority of the time, and despite going to dozens of therapists and trying half a dozen medications, nothing has helped me at all, so I've just given up on trying to get better at this point. I've always been an outcast too, and never had friends (and still don't), and my family outright hates me and avoids me if at all possible. Grew up being ignored / shunned / laughed at by everyone around me, and I actually sometimes start crying thinking about how alone I am (nothing makes me cry, but this does), and always figured I was just a monster, or it was expected of everyone to treat me like I'm not there, or something... so I know how that feels.

I'm sorry you have to go through all the things you do though, no one deserves that. : /

Video games really do help take your mind off things though, even if only for a little while. If the mental issues are bad for you, I would also suggest taking up art / music; when I'm doing a drawing / painting / playing a song / whatever, all my fears and worries just kind of fade away, my nervous tics stop, I start breathing normally, I can feel all my muscles just let go, my mind clears... it's just amazing how focusing on something absolutely destroys mental health issues -- It's just too bad that they come back almost immediately afterwards. T_T

If you don't mind my randomly asking, what anime are all your gifs from? I've seen them around before, but haven't a clue what they're from. :P

Kitty Darkstar11/8/2015, 9:58:51 PM2 votes

Only reason I haven't killed myself is because it seems too boring, and seeing I'm already almost bored to death it doesn't seem like much of an improvement.

Anyways, less about me, more about you. It's nice that you're feeling better. Seeing that other people are able to get over the difficulties in their lives honestly makes me feel better, so thank you for that.

Ralanr11/8/2015, 8:19:28 AM1 votes

A bit personal, and might have been a bit too much. But glad to hear you're life is getting better random stranger on the internet!

SexySoapTurtle11/8/2015, 10:10:42 AM1 votes

I couldn't even read the post from cringing at the unneeded anime gifs.

Maximum Morde11/8/2015, 1:42:50 PM1 votes

Tldr,

P.S. Stop cutting yourself.

Embertine11/9/2015, 7:27:42 AM1 votes

I almost went through with it myself once. On my birthday no less. Solid three years of depression and I just didn't feel like there was any reason for me to be around. But then I thought about what that would do to my family, even though there were like 7 billion people whom would never meet me or know about me, or even care for that matter. But thinking about how it would effect my family, all of whom I was living with at the time, made me stop. After that I promised myself that I wouldn't be that way anymore. I would just let all the bad crap in life slide past me and focus on the few good things I find along the way.

I don't remember how many years ago that was, but I can honestly say, that decision I had made back then, was the single greatest choice I've made my entire life. It's good to hear that another person has gotten better and is walking away from that dark place.