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What would you like in your drink?

RealInt·1/19/2017, 6:05:09 PM·39 votes·2,254 views

: Just Ice please.

Ok, I'm on it. What about you sir?

: Hmm... I'm not really sure yet...

Oh, that's ok, take your time. I'll get back to you shortly.

: Great, I'll keep looki-

...

: Fk off m8

: I want milk.

Excuse me? You want milk in your drink?

: Yes. Gimmi milk.

Sorry, we, uh, don't have any milk. Unless...

Looks at Alistar

: YOU CAN'T MILK THOSE

Oh, no sir, I wasn't implying tha-

: WAITER! WHERE THE HELL IS MY GODDAMN DRINK WITH ~~JUSTICE~~ JUST ICE?

Oh, I'm sorry sir! I just ran into a small problem...

: Oh, I see. Don't worry, I'll handle it.

Huh?

: ...

: ...

Hello, can I help yo-

: Get the fk out m8.

: u wot me m8?

: GET THE FK OUT YOU LITTLE SON OF A -

THIS SECTION HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO AN EXCESS OF DEMACIAN JUSTICE

: Good.

Garen, what the hell man? That guy was gonna order a drink, why'd you do that?

: You said my drink with just ice was delayed on the account of a small problem. That thing was the smallest thing in the room. I hence eliminated him.

Wait, no, that't not what I... Look, we don't have any milk for this kid's drink. That was the "small problem".

: Oh. Well that's an easy problem to fix.

Begins walking up to Alistar

: Bro...what are you doing...bro back off...

Garen Continues walking up to Alistar

: Bro, what do you doing? Wait no PLS NO STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO PLS YOU CANT MILK THOSE AAAAHHHHHHH

THIS SECTION HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO EXCESS "MILKING THOSE"

: OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU SICK FK

Walks out of building, his dignity crushed, his life now without meaning

: Here, drink your milk.

: ...that doesn't look like milk...

: JUST DRINK IT SO I CAN GET MY DRINK WITH JUST ICE

: gtfo m8

walks out of building. Without paying for the "milk"

: There. Problem solved. Now can I please get my drink with just ice.

Jeez, ok, ok, just stop scaring off my paying customers...

Goes to get some ice for the drink

...oh shit...

: What. What is it now? Is that small guy back? Don't worry, I'll get rid of him.

No, uh, its not that... We're uh... ... Out of ice....

: .... you've got to be shitting me....

19 Comments

Melledoneus1/20/2017, 12:19:54 AM23 votes

Azir BARTENDER. I REQUIRE A CUSTOM DRINK. Bartender: Sure, what do you have in mind? Azir BIRB-ON. Bartender: Bourbon? Just bourbon? Azir DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN WITH SIMPLE TASTES?!? THE ORDER IS GIVEN! Bartender: All right, I'll get it for you, sheesh. Sivir Hold that thought. Bartender: Whoah. Sweetie, we got a dress code around here. Sivir Is it tacky with a side of bowtie? Because your outfit looks ridiculous. Bartender: Have it your way. Can I get you anything? Sivir I'll be taking him home before he gets kicked out of another bar. Azir SIVIR, MY CHILD. THIS IS A PLACE FOR ADULTS. GO BACK TO THE PALACE. Sivir Points at bartender Don't get him anything. Points at Azir You're coming home with me before you get out of hand. Azir Has wall of soldiers push Sivir out of the bar DO NOT MIND HER. JUST SIMPLY FULFILL MY REQUEST. Sivir From outside Do not serve him anything alcoholic! Bartender: Uh... Draven Sits at bar heavily, slamming fist on the table Jimmy, get me a drink. Bartender: My name isn't Jimmy, but sure. Whatcha want? Draven The usual. Bartender: Um... this is the first time you've come here... Draven So what? You gonna get me a shot of Draven or what? Bartender: There's no drink named that... Draven Whaddya mean- Gets pushed off barstool by large man Bartender: Whoa. What can I get you, big guy? Gragas The barrel. Bartender: ...uh... what from the barrels? Gragas Everything. Malphite Smashes through ceiling Bartender: Holy crap! You gonna pay for that? I wanna drink. Bartender: Are those rocks real? Smashes counter to pieces I SAID I WANNA DRINK! Bartender: Ok, ok, whaddya want. Oh. Uh... I've never really gotten to this part before. Bartender: You're telling me you usually go to bars like this? Malphite Uh... something. But make sure it's on the rocks. Bartender: Oh, for pete's sake- I WILL SET FIRE TO THIS WHOLE JOINT IF I DON'T GET BRANDY IN THE NEXT 15 SECONDS! Azir IN THE NAME OF SHURIMA, I WANT MY BIRB-ON! Bartender: HALF OF THESE AREN'T EVEN DRINKS!

ARequestOfDeath1/19/2017, 9:22:11 PM12 votes

http://i.imgur.com/zX7FEUP.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/zX7FEUP.gif

GULAG 4 U1/19/2017, 11:10:59 PM6 votes

Kassadin

Just-ice will be served.

Skelenth1/19/2017, 11:00:22 PM6 votes

Lissandra enters the shop. Looks around. http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/leagueoflegends/images/3/38/Gletscherpfad.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130406123837&path-prefix=de&format=webp away

Blue Moon Wolf1/20/2017, 3:14:27 AM5 votes

MonkeyKing : Let's see, I would like-

Bartender: A Banana daiquiri

MonkeyKing : ... you racist mother f-

Bartender: Sorry my bad. Clearly you need more time hahaha. How about you sir?

Gnar : Shushu moga wata maga

Bartender: I'm sorry, what did you say you wanted?

Gnar : SHUSHU MOGA WATA MAGA >:( Rage intensifies

MonkeyKing : FOR GOD SAKE MAN, JUST GIVE HIM ONE OF EVERYTHING! HIS RAGE BAR IS FILLING! D:

Bartender: I need a new job T__T

theArtifacts1/20/2017, 4:09:21 AM4 votes

There is just one issue with your story. You had no picture for...

THE BAR(D)TENDER Bard

Oelyk1/19/2017, 9:26:31 PM2 votes

Just-ice!

Danjeng1/20/2017, 1:43:29 AM2 votes

Garen sees Ashe out the window, who is examining her ice-arrows (idle animation 4).

General Esdeath 1/20/2017, 1:33:15 AM2 votes

{quoted}

: Hmm... I'm not really sure yet...

Oh, that's ok, take your time. I'll get back to you shortly.

: Great, I'll keep looki-

...

: Fk off m8

kek

Khadaver1/19/2017, 10:57:27 PM2 votes

If it wasn't milk then i think we all know what Annie just swallowed

KoKoboto1/19/2017, 11:08:03 PM1 votes

in justice we trust