My sales pitch for League

Hello, I'm afmghost. Have you ever played a game and thought "this game isn't frustrating enough?" Maybe you craved a game so unfair and unpleasant that you cuss out the developers while you're playing it. If so, have we got a game for you! Welcome to League of Legends, where your frustration is our profit! We take pride in making the game so stupidly unfair and unfun that you will wonder why you're wasting your precious time! Our biggest goal is to make the game as unbalanced as possible. You will get killed time and time again before your character can fight back. And no, your opponent isn't fed yet, but they still will be able to walk over you, thanks to our incompetant design team! Next, let's take a look at our dreadful playerbase. We take pride in catering to the biggest trolls your region has to offer. Be prepared for the verbal abusing of your life as your teammates refuse to understand that you're being countered by a oneshotter and continue to flame the daylights out of you. But be careful, one word from you to defend yourself and we'll punish you and make you feel like an awful human being. That not enough? Need a worse experience? Look no further than our server maintenance team! They make sure the game is so laggy that you will begin to wonder if you mouse is working properly. At Riot Games, your wallet is what matters!