A new guide on how to play Teemo, the Swift Scout, 100% WINRATE TRUST ME LUL NO SCAM

Alright. Teemo. One of the most obnoxious laners in the game, and one of the easiest way to win lane at low ELO. But if you're stuck at D5 D2 (LUL) like someone who rhymes with LightGlueFree, here is a good solution to climb to and stay at top 50 Challenger. So you may be thinking right now: "How do I climb with Teemo? You have been making statements about climbing to High Challenger, while disguising your Bronze 5 rank which you surely do not deserve because you are a very good player" And to that I say, I have the perfect solution. As you can see, based on my relatively high rank (Bronze 5, better than 6 or 7), I can assure you that this build has a 100% winrate over 0 ranked games, because I don't want to try this at all. But anyways, Teemo is useless in terms of teamfights late game. His damage output is easily mitigated by MR or Armor depending on your build, and his lack of good aoe hard cc makes him a troll pick in High ELO. Now to solve this, I have a better use of Teemo, that many pros and Rek'sai mains might approve. Rek'sai mains are tired of being the only vision the team has. The boosted midlaner demands blue, overextends, and blames you, the jungler, the team, for not warding his lane. The ADC that you are tired of supporting, blames you for not warding when your wards are on cooldown. The top laner... well... You can't really kill tanks so like... BUT FEAR NOT! BECAUSE I HAVE THE PERFECT SOLUTION. The FULL SCOUT TEEMO Build. Yes. You heard me right. Teemo is so useless, he might as well be a walking ward. His passive, which makes him invisible in brush and anywhere else is the reason why this works. You've always wanted your red buff warded, but your top laner refuses. Now when you play FULL SCOUT TEEMO you never need to ward, because you ARE the ward! Ever gotten tired of your Control Ward getting taken out while you're back at home buying a couple of longswords? Well now, you don't need to worry about that! With 516 base health, that's about 6 hits from a yasuo to kill you (at level 1)! 2 whole more than a crappy Control Ward! As teemo, you can also move (which is a common trait shared between most champions), which is good because now you don't need to ward just one spot! You can move positions as you see it fit.

So what's the build? What items do I buy to play this perfect build which won't get me permabanned?

Boots are your most important asset, as they buff your movespeed. You don't need Sorcs because you don't do magic damage silly. Wards are also good, since they buff how far you see, which is very important as FULL SCOUT TEEMO

WHAT RUNES DO I RUN MY DUDE?????

I would usually put an image of my rune page here, but I think investing in 30 move speed runes isn't that good of an idea. So yeah. Movespeed. Move fast = more vision

Masteries?

You don't need masteries you're a goddamn ward and act like one. Don't even talk in chat you don't deserve to interact. Likely you'll be replaced by Riot at the end of the season with the same but inferior version of yourself, with a darker colour scheme.

Reviews by past clients of the FULL SCOUT TEEMO build

"I played this build and it got me to rank 1 Challenger! Wow you are such an amazing person holy cow I wish I could be like you!"

• No one

Cheers