Balancing the game...Gameplay boards style!

Janna's E is now a skillshot. As is her R. Both can hit enemy champions as well. Both require 5 seconds of channeling. The healing and shielding values are also reduced by 60%, except on enemy champions.

Gnar is now forbidden from buying Frozen Mallet.

Darius now has triple damage, 900 range, and automatically does true damage against all marksmen.

Kalista's passive jump is removed.

Karthus's ultimate now bypasses all invulnerability effects

Kog'maw's AP and AD scalings are removed. Yes, even on his Autos. He is also forbidden from buying BorK. And his attack speed is permanently locked at 0.5.

Malzahar is reverted, then removed.

Mordekaiser's base move speed is increased to 400.

Orianna's ultimate now heals the enemy team. And applies no CC.

Tristana's Q, W, E, and R are all removed. And her passive is negated.

Xayah is no longer allowed to press E. But we're nice, so we'll let her finally attack wards. But only wards.

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Class updates!

Assassins can now automatically one-shot ADCs by landing literally any ability on them, regardless of whether or not said ability would normally do damage. Any marksman that dares to attack their assassin overlords now automatically receives 50k pure damage and heals the assassin by the same.

Mages all automatically gain 1000 AP, and start with Morellonomicon's stats as a second passive. All items mages can buy have 5 times the normal AP. Duskblade is now an AP item, as is Guardian Angel.

Marksmen can now only attack minions. And only minions. They hit as hard as a melee minion at level 1. They also are now melee. And have the same stats as a minion...You know what? Fuck it. All marksmen are now just odd-looking melee minions.

Tanks Now take only 1% of all incoming damage.

Juggernauts Are incapable of being kited. Your champion now freezes in place when one walks towards you. Global range.

Enchanters entire kits are now skill shots (for an example, see Janna's kit above).