Typing this while typing this.

It is of utmost importance to express that my typography is quite consistent and layered, like onions and ogres, not like cakes and parfaits. I am currently typing this while I am typing it, and you know the issue I find with it? I can't type with all 10 fingers on my phone!

By this point, most people would blame phone companies or the economy, hell sometimes in extreme cases they blame themselves. But I know the truth: this is undeniably Riot's fault. By refusing to make an app for League of Legends (the game, not the novelization), they have doomed those without access to their computers to small keyboards.

And do you want to know when Riot started going downhill and stopped caring about their mobile-bound users? When Dyrus left the balance team. Dyrus was so caring for those players who cannot have the luxury of being at a computer to play the game. He even dedicated all of his time, not able to do important things in his life such as experiment Red Bull with flavored water packets or even like the posts on his pillow's Twitter. Nowadays we have guys like Reav3 who are hell-bent on making skins rather than purchasing the pizza for the Balance Team during the Riot pizza party.

So, to avoid drawing this out even further, let me reiterate: I am typing this not because I want upvotes (but I'll take them), or because I want to vent on the Boards or even let people know I am alive. I am typing simply because I am typing this.

And Kindlejack, this is all your fault for forgetting to order pizza for the live action crew, you careless fool of a Took. Now we'll never get a movie. I think you owe Meddler a stuffed crust pizza personally. And I'm still waiting to see if KateyKhaos will complete her Kog'maw and Urgot plushie collection AS SHE PROMISED.

And Riot Cactopus, I demand a rematch. I don't know how you did it, but you rigged those dice last time we played Backgammon. This time I bring the dice, you prickly cheater.

In conclusion, I am typing this while I am typing it. The reasoning is not important, and all Rioters listed here are non-existent and simply figments of our collective hallucinogenic imaginations. Winter is coming.

I have now finished typing this. Go make up for the time you wasted reading this.

##EDIT: If this gets 100 upvotes I will eat an apple and describe how it tasted in detail. In gothic fashion. In rhyme. While quoting Ernest Hemmingway and Edgar Allen Poe.

##EDIT 2: Well shit you actually did it, guys. Brb gotta find an apple.

##EDIT 3: If this post reaches 200 upvotes I will make a champion scenario with the subject being based off the first three things I am told to google. I have a feeling I might regret this.

##EDIT 4: Damn it Alright, 200 upvotes is here. First 3 people to reply to the comment I have made somewhere in the cesspool of madness I have brewed get their google topics. If your topic, however, is incredibly inappropriate, I will gloss over it to retain my innocence. Ready? Go!