Complete Guide To Kog'maw Pre-Post-Rework-Reversal (RIP the dream)

Abstract:

RITO IF YOU DARE TELL ME TO PUT THIS IN GAMEPLAY I SWEAR... SOMETHING... I DON'T KNOW WHAT, BUT THE IRE WILL BLOT OUT THE SUN!!! DO YOU CARE FOR YOUR PRECIOUS LEO?! DO YOU!!!

:(

I've been meaning to finish this, ahem, "guide", for a while, and I guess the death of Kog'maw the 7-Second-CD-Miss-Fortune-Ult-Alternative, Garbage, Ragequit Inducing, Salt Manufacturer has finally spurred me to complete it as my last fairwell to this beloved broken piece of... I'll stop now. (Click to enlarge. Just because Kog'maw can't read doesn't mean you don't get to.)

http://i.imgur.com/OfkVGVx.gif

"Proof of concept"

http://i.imgur.com/b7rVCN8.jpg

Do you know what's it like to face a backdooring solo kogmaw, and know the only way to stop him without giving him a quadrakill is to stagger FIVE sona ults from THREE different directions? I don't, but these poor souls do:

http://i.imgur.com/UED4gP0.jpg

Regulars, because I know you're demanding it:

http://i.imgur.com/rhFPULq.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/ZZdb0O0.jpg

Ranked is for sellouts and people who buy boots.

Normally, I would call BS on a total rework reversal, but I think Rito may have been onto something with the "we’re going to have to design all our on-hit patches around the Kog’maw rework if we don’t want the universe to explode" dilemma.