A day in the life of a caster minion that works at your local grocery store
Be me, a caster minion working at De-MART-ia in Piltover
I work as a courtesy clerk, which basically means I do all the jobs nobody else wants to do. This includes, bagging the groceries, bringing carts in, cleaning the bathrooms, and taking the trash out, all for the convenience for the summoners and people that shop here. Walk in at 4:00 as soon as my shift begins Say hello to my supervisor for the day, Ashe Ashe is older, but super nice to everyone, especially people who work hard I've only worked there a month but she's super nice to me so I figure I'm doing something right She tells me to bring in carts. It's winter, so I put on my extra heavy cloak and go outside. Getting carts is easy, so you lose track of time.
After about an hour and a half, she sends out Lux. Lux is okay, but she slacks off a lot. Lux tells me to go back inside because I have to take my 15 minute Zaunite worker union regulated break. I go in, and Ashe is upset that I spent so much time outside. I ask why and she says it's because it's too cold. I tell her I feel fine and she says that nobody is supposed to be out there for more than 30 minutes in weather below 30 degrees. I tell her I'm sorry and take my break. While I'm on my break, I greet Poppy, Swain, Vladmir, Garen, Draven, and Syndra Poppy, Vladmir, and Garen are three more courtesy clerks I work with Garen's alright, but he keeps talking about how we all need to work hard, yet I swear I've done more work in my past month than he has his entire life. Poppy's the best, she works hard and she's an awesome teacher. The only problem is that she's a total weeb and watches the most terrible animes. Vladmir literally does nothing. He's the laziest person I've ever seen, and it's a miracle he hasn't been fired yet. Swain is one of our managers. Nobody likes him, especially not poppy. He's rude to the customers and his co-workers, and kept poppy from getting her promotion. Syndra is a woman who works at the service desk. She deals with unhappy customers all day and gets pretty crabby after a long day, but she's so pretty and if you know her she's so nice. I'd basically be in love with her if she wasn't so much older than me. After all, momma Nexus gave birth to me just a year ago before she blew up (a sad tale for another time.) Draven is our hiring manager, and I'm pretty sure he's insane. He sings over the intercom and it's really funny to me, but nobody else likes it. He seems evil but I think he's a pretty good guy. I make my way back downstairs and say hello to the two deli clerks, Darius and Yorick. Darius was offered a position as a manager before Draven, but he turned it down for whatever reason. Camille, our head manager, apparently INSISTED that Darius have the job instead of Draven, but Darius kept declining and recommending his brother. I guess it worked out for both of them in the end. Anyways, Yorick is butts old. He's old enough to retire, and he's worked here for what seems like centuries, but he keeps refusing to retire. I don't understand it, he feels like he's bound to this job, but really he can just stop whenever he wants. Maybe he likes the company, maybe he really likes working for De-MART-ia, or maybe he just really doesn't have anything else to do. Either way, I can tell he enjoys whatever he's doing, and I'm not going to question him for continuing to work.
I head back up to the front desk, looking for my supervisor. I ask Syndra where Ashe is, and Syndra says that she's on her break, so I can just bag for now. I head over to gank the only open lane, and that's Caitlyn's checkout lane. I can immediately see that the lane is overwhelmed with all sorts of items, so I start bagging as fast as I can. 8 dozens of eggs 15 cuts of steak 20 whole frozen turkeys a BUNCH of frozen pizzas a frozen gauntlet, chaos potions, a dead mans plate I recognize this order. This must be the work of... an extreme couponer. But not just any extreme couponer, the one we all fear. The deal striker, TAHM KENCH. I look over past all of the groceries, swords, and experimental builds, and I see his disgustingly large mouth begin to water as our eyes meet. I hide back behind the groceries, and thankfully poppy comes over to take over for me so that I can go back outside to work on carts instead of risking being eaten by the monster bargain taker.
She's honestly my savior.
I head back outside, and wave goodbye to one of our regulars, Viktor, who comes every week to pick up ingredients for making sweetmilk and various mechanical parts for some kind of "evolution" or something.
It's now 10:45, the time I get off work. I sigh with relief, not only am I off, but today is Friday, the day I get paid. I walk over to Syndra, and she already knows what I need. She hands me the check with a smile, and asks if I want it cashed then and there. I don't have a bank account, so I tell her yes. She takes the check, and hands me 164 gold coins. I'm a little disappointed, I should've gotten 255 but Piltovan tax is outrageous. I sigh, and begin to walk back home. Just another day, as a caster minion, working at an entry level job as a courtesy clerk.
Maybe I should've joined my brothers in the army. Minion warfare is brutal and they're usually doomed to die, but I hear summoners pay well for that sort of thing.
