Hi, I'm Ezreal Knoxville...
...and this is Jackass. Today I'm going so see how much of Zac I can drink with this straw.
What are you doing?
Sticks straw into Zac and starts trying to drink, but nothing comes out
Ezreal, what are you doing?
Face turns red from the effort and then blue, then he collapses
So, last week I tried to drink Zac. Turns out he's not as squishy as he looks. So instead, we're going to find out what's inside Nautilus. And we're gonna do this the best I know how.
Unzips pants
I'm gonna piss inside his eye hole.
Has his arm in a cast, bruised all over his face
So last episode of Jackass we... uh... had a bit of a problem. I'd rather not talk about it, but the doctor said I was lucky to even be alive.
Pauses awkwardly, then sighs
So today we're going to do something a little more practical... well, a LITTLE more. Today, we're here in Noxus for one reason...
Camera zooms out and shows a sleeping Kled and Skaarl
That's right. I'm gonna take a crap on Kled's favorite hat. Here we go.
Piltover News
Today an interesting story regarding our very own Prodigous Explorer. Recently becoming the star of his own show, named Jack... um... ok... he has allegedly gone missing, while filming a stunt in the Noxian plains. His camera crew disappeared as well, but the studio picked up footage sent to them live, and several rescue teams have been sent to search. None of them have returned.
In other news, Noxian pop idol Urgot files claims against the manager of the Star Guardian troupe for turning down his audition. He claims prejudice. He could not be contacted for further comment.
