The Top-Lane Infomercial

(DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL WRITTEN FOR COMEDIC AND SATIRICAL PURPOSES.)

Hey You.

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Yeah, you.

Do you find that your Mid Lane Champions just can't do their job in their intended lane anymore?

Can you not get your Glorious Evolution as ?

Do you fail to to the occassion?

If so, Player, have we got the lane for you!

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What's this? Why it's Top-Lane of course!

That place that has those Champions like and and and all those ones that they make their bitches!

You know, these guys! Ones like this dude , and this guy , don't forget this fellow , and of course !

We can't even remember their freaking names!

Come Top-Lane and YOU TOO can dumpster on these champions since you're sick of facing that or for the umpteenth time in a row!

They're Melee and you're Ranged, so it's not like THEY can do anything to stop you!

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Are those pesky Melee Champions STILL trying to get you? Have no fear! Our Patented JUNGLER (TM) will come and camp the ever-living shit out of them so they can't even move outside their own Tower range!

Choose from a plethora of JUNGLER Models to help you, like:

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!

But wait, you ask: "What if I'm a Bot-Laner like or ?" Even Better! They'll be even LESS LIKELY to get on you!

So come try Top-Lane today!

#"Top Lane! Because where the hell else can we dumpster these champions?"

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######Paid for by the "Who gives a Shit about Melee Champions" Foundation.