The comprehensive rules list for League of Disappointments

I am on a quest. A quest to assemble the most comprehensive rules list that has ever been fathomed for the game "League of Lobbies". I aim to make this rules list as friendly to beginners as it is helpful to long-time players, even up to the LCS, (being a player in the top-tiers of Bronze V, I believe this makes me the most qualified person to do so). As we all are aware, the League of Licentious, Lecherous Liars can be a difficult game to understand, I hope this will work toward remedying the issues many players may have.

#1. Blame the support. They're Masochists. #2. If this fails, blame the jungler. They deserve it anyway. #3. The mid-laner is the main character. Keep them alive at all costs. If you are berated by them, listen to their sage advice. #4. Chat filter is for Pussies. Similarly, if you are ganked by a helpful jungler, or refuse to go in on a two versus five fight, you are most definitely a pussy. #5. If you chase a singed, you deserve crucifixion. Enough said. #6. Remember, if you're losing on top lane, keep going aggressively. I'm sure it will work eventually. #7. Who needs Baron when you have friendship? Just as long as you try your best, you'll always succeed! That goes for you too, mister split pushing top laner! #8. If you need gold for the long term, remember that kills are worth 300+ gold, and shitty minions are only worth like 30 gold on average. #9. Always follow recommended item lists. Why do you think they're recommended? #10. The ADC is the main character. Keep them alive at all costs. If you are berated by them, listen to their sage advice. #11. Vayne is right no matter what. Only pros play Vayne. Guaranteed. #12. Steal every pentakill you can see. Make it a challenge for them. They appreciate the help with bettering themselves. #13. If the Jungler is being a little bitch and refuses to invade, do it yourself! Who needs that clown? #14. If you lose, your team is comprised of monkeys and you deserve retribution. #15. Who needs objectives? Kills are where it's at! #16. If your champion gets banned, dodge. It'll be easier that way. #17. Counter picking is for little bitches that don't know how to adapt. #18. Listen to the meta at all costs. Individuality is for hipsters. #19. Caps-Lock is your friend. You won't break your shift key that way. #20. Learn how to play a single lane. Dodge if you're auto-filled. #21. If two people want to play the same champion, ban it. It's the easiest way to settle the argument. #22. That kill was yours. Yell at the filthy thief. #23. Skins=Wins #24. Nasus' Q is for champion killing only. #25. Ban Taliyah. Throwing rocks is dangerous. #26. When playing Aurelion Sol, listen to the music of the late, great David Bowie. It will empower him. #27. Make sure to play Lucian, Ekko, or Karma to keep your games "Racially Diverse" #28. Talon damage getting you down? Snap into a Slim-Jim™. #29. Everybody loves the Assassin meta. #30. Never buy Grievous Wounds. No matter what anyone says is a good idea (even Vayne). #31. BM at the end of the game, you can always get the Nexus later. #32. Spam pings. You're the main character, and everyone should listen to your advice. #33. If someone dies, spam MIA on top of them. They love it. #34. If the champions are related: there's porn of it. #35. Never Honor the losing team. They're scum. #35a. Never honor the winning team. They're assholes. #36. G0uge 3M V4l0r #37. Itemization is about as important as CSing. #38. Listen to this while playing Zed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DM0jNpCmJ4&list=PLCdSc3L_hsEmOlegopEw_WLX6VCrFUgHe #39. Always ban the new champion. If you can't play them nobody can. #40. Tanks are for babies who are too scared to kill people. #41. Warding is for little bitches that don't know how to adapt. #42. Don't buy magic resist or armor, it shows weakness. #43. A group of enemies is just an enticing buffet to be devoured. #44. 4 is the meaning of life. #45. Always, always, always mad lyfe your CC. This includes Thresh hooks, Morgana Q's, and Blitzcrank Grabs. #46. Mages are for dweebs. Steal their lunch money Mr.Assassin main. #47. Turrets are a mind game, dive them to your heart's content. #48. Ranked is for experimentation. Get out there and try new things. #49. Flash is for getting on lane faster, you won't need it anyway. #50. Finally, always remember; Bronze, Silver, Diamond and Plat, make daddy get out the baseball bat.

I hope this list can help you or someone you know better themselves in the art of playing League of Lesbians. If I missed any, please remember to berate me. I will always listen to your sage advice.

Ok.

Bye.