Passive: You'll always have a shield unless you don't and then you'll get a shield because you didn't have one.
Q: Toss a feather out like a paper airplane and it might heal you.
E: Dash to become a trampoline. Invite EVERYONE!
W: Dash over to a friend. If you have no friends then you'll die alone.
R: Run fast and turn the enemy team into a Pride parade.
Passive - Kamikaze
Q- Spits on people.
W - Spits on people.
E - Spits on people.
R- Spits on people.
P: Smack things with your pimp cane and you heal
Q: Smack midgets with your pimp cane, then eventually start smacking giants with it.
W: Make your opponent slower than IE and older than this joke.
E: Spin your pimp cane to shred the enemy's skin.
R: Spin some sand, congratulations you're taller and have 100% more pimp cane.
Passive: Doesn't Jhin say that? Q: Round. W: YEET! E: Force push. R: Yeet x100.
Passive: spamming silences me? Q: run at them and enjoy bbq W: run faster, take no dmg E: used to hunt whales with those R: more flames
(was playing ARAM)
P: Auto becomes a bigger bomb
Q: Bouncing Bomb
W: Delayed Bomb
E: Minefield Bomb
R: Nuke
Passive: I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
Q: Lemme smash.
W: The one true dunk.
E: Dippity dime your soul is now mine.
R: I really hope they all-in me because otherwise I'm kinda useless.
P: If an enemy is hurt, hurt them more.
Q: Naruto simulator
W: Terribly disguised Shadow Clone Jitsu
E: Flail your arms around you but like, really hard.
R: Sneak up behind someone and do damage in a bit
P: I get a shield for dealing damage smacking you.
Q: I smack you 3 times
W: Let's touch circles so we can do some damage and heal so we can smack people more
E: I smack you from range
R: I'll make you help me smack people
(P): I attack fast asf when I kill
(Q): I fire an attack from a far like a catapult
(W): I shoot purple worms at enemies
(E): I fire a set of the same attacks at once that cause you to become a turtle when standing in a certain area
(R): I fire some sort of tentacle at you and you and your allies might not move for a while
P: Eat shit get health and mana back
Q: Stomp ground and knock people up like it's prom night.
W: STFU
E: Spikey boi shoots spikey spikes
R: Eat like Rosie odonnell except it has a cooldown unlike Rosie.
P : Shoot people with your knees
Q : Send a jar of piss on people to annoy them
W : Ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatata
E : Get a shield, dash, and grab a weakling like it weights nothing.
R : Throw chains at people when they're low HP and redecorate the rift with their innards.
Passive: Basic attack becomes a lazer beam for whatever reason after an ability
Q: It's like playing table tennis! Alone.
W: Mine now!
E: May aswell be called "faster recall"
R: It's portal 2 but without the overcomplicated puzzles
Passive: FASTER!
Q: Nice Flash.
W: Shield and Heal Every 6-3.6 seconds.
E: FASTER! HARDER (Stun)!
R: AOE Clearing.
Passive: WANNA GO FAST! Q: Let one RIIIIP! W: Shoot out some sticky white goo. E: Flip-a-da-table R: Take ALL THE DRUGS!
Not gonna do last played champ because that game was depressing, but nonetheless:
Passive: Give an ally a worse recurve bow.
Q: Kill a minion, Regenerate half your health
W: Accelerate in a direction, maybe Deal damage and stun
E: Root some guys. Eventually...
R: Become a target for stuns, if they don't have any, they die.
I will keep adding more every time the last got solved.
Passive: HA, you thought you killed me yet?
Q: COME OVER HERE!
W: Gotta go fast!
E: ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!
R: pikaCHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
ANSWER: 
Passive: 3-hit and run tactics Q: Let it rip! !pir ti teL W: Welcome to the thunderdome E: Dash zap smack R: Oh s%$&, I f&cked up! ... or did I?
Passive: Refill the blue bar with a bonus. Q: Guided missile except when it isn't. W: Find a friend and don't die/Leave your friend to die because friendship is a lie. E: Make someone go slightly faster and also maybe perform emergency first aid. R: Your enemies thought they had a spell shield, but now they're stuck in place.
R:Get Lvl 16 and win
Passive: Pew. Peew. Peeew. Peeeew. Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Q: pewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpewpew. W: Oh shit, gotta get outta dodge. E: Pew, Pew, Pew, Pew-BOOM! Ohhh. :o R: Oh shit! you need to get outta dodge!
p: ooooh shiny let me hit you! q: now both of you can talk about it what just happened. w: i'm trying to save us both! Stop dodging! e: So damn bright it slowed and burned you Hah. r: Where you going?
Q stronger auto
W jukes with clone
E target dash + attack speed
R Garen spin but with a knock up
Passive: One Two Three This Lane Belongs To Me Q: Bass Boosted W: Vaporwave (calming but not helpful) E: Running in the 90s R: Everybody clap your hands clapclapclapclap
Get rewarded for not playing the game by being given a free Warmog's
Tickle an enemy four times until late game when two tickles kills
Wait 9 hours while your enemy kills you unless you live through the 9 hours then you get CC and can one shot them
Click on an enemy to deal % health damage then wait a year for the cooldown, or get rewarded for not playing the game to reset the cooldown entirely
Get out of Jail free card + AOE execute
P: let me get some health Q: q, q,q wait a bitch q,q,q etc W: where you going boy E: slide to the left. Slide to the right R: I got wings now, try and kill me
