Things that tilt your NSA agent

IcyPepper·5/15/2018, 10:45:13 PM·46 votes·13,919 views

All this talk about tilting your teammates yet no love for the men in black?

  1. Placing barriers (tape, plastic, etc) over your webcam so you can share national secrets with the spy in your room using sign language

  2. Periodically muting your mic when sharing classified information, making it difficult to know which conspiracy you're compromising

  3. Using complicated passwords instead of easy password systems, requiring epic hax skills

  4. Developing a cant with your treasonous allies friends so resources have to be wasted deciphering it

  5. Using multiple VPNs to cover your digital shadow. Your agent knows what you're doing, but mad because you won't share

  6. Not using your computer more than two hours a day because it's hard to track people through the microwave nowadays

  7. Randomly saying "I know you're listening" when you're alone. Your NSA agent knows that you know they're listening. It's facetious, stop it.

  8. Playing games more than 16 hours a day. Agents need sleep too, and Mountain Dew+Doritos aren't allowed in the office after Steve ruined it for everyone

  9. Fuck Steve

  10. When you complain about lag that comes out of nowhere during important moments that require fast reflexes. Yes, it was your agent's fault, but watching you feed in your promos is the only thing that gets him through the day. Let him have this

  11. When you complain about matchmaking during your promos. See #10

  12. Blinking in morse code to tell the enemy spy watching your stream national secrets. You think you're being clever, but it's a tired trick. Yes, talking to you Undesireable #8715. Stop it.

  13. Not pledging your allegiance to the flag every day like a real American

  14. Not wearing clothes while gaming and forgetting to do #1. Some things cannot be unseen

  15. Playing Yasuo

  16. Be a support main but constantly complain about your teammates. Seriously, are you the doting type or a masochist? Pick one

  17. Getting into internet arguments but misspelling words, forcing your NSA agent to create a fake Facebook account just to shame your illiterate ass

  18. Not letting your relic shield support kill the cannon minion. Even the NSA has standards, man

  19. Maining Yasuo

  20. Unironically enjoying Justin Bieber music and forcing your agent to listen too. There's a reason it's classified as a highly-advanced interrogation technique

  21. Spending too much time making unfunny memes

21 Comments

HalcyonDweller5/15/2018, 10:52:36 PM23 votes

The act of fucking Steve would probably most definitely upset your NSA agent because he already hates Steve and now Steve gets laid more than him.

Edit: also I finished reading the post finally. Thanks for a great laugh! +1

KZ Engel5/15/2018, 10:48:43 PM11 votes

{quoted} 13 Not pledging your allegiance to the flag every day like a real American

the pledge has confused me for a while now. teaching children to swear undying loyalty to a symbol and the government seems pretty brainwashy to me.

z63XnLCMwX5/16/2018, 1:14:59 AM7 votes

22, Use dial-up. NSA agent hates long load time.

fatherdarius5/16/2018, 4:03:28 AM5 votes

I sometimes type things in chat just to confuse ECHELON.

Coldfusionstorm5/16/2018, 4:58:56 PM3 votes

You all are great! You really make my long day sitting in front of the computer so much easier!...

No Steve...

You know you aren't allowed that at wor... Steve go away.

Skelenth5/16/2018, 5:23:10 PM1 votes

My IT installer said I shouldn't use complicated passwords, lest I forget them