Jerry, the guy who somehow has to justify patch notes

dontspinbutwin·9/14/2019, 8:23:08 PM·7 votes·1,858 views

Riot's Balance team: "Ay Jerry, get in here for a sec would ya?"

Jerry: "Oh no. Please. Don't do this to me. It was so difficult to justify last patch. Do you know how awkward it was to type 'yeah evelynn doesn't need a damage buff but is getting a massive one'?

RBT: "Jerry, come on, it ain't THAT ba-"

Jerry: "And there was the ekko buff, that came coincidentally before worlds. Like, even ekko mains are confused because ekko was in a good spot overall."

RBT:

Jerry: "And the f*cking Kaisa 'nerf' won't even effect her at all. I'm getting all the flame for something you guys propose!"

RBT: "may we remind you Jerry, as per contract, we said we would have the skin development team give you one ahri skin every 3 months in exchange for doing what we wish, correct?"

Jerry: "I mean, ye-"

RBT: "I knew youd understand Jerry! So now, to start off next patch, good news: sylas is getting nerfed!"

Jerry: "...oh! That's actually well needed. Good on you guys, the players will love to hear that!"

RBT: "It gets better, hear us out: you know how tahm kench is so strong right?"

Jerry: "well actually, ever since his nerfs, he's been in a horrendous state, and could use some bu-"

RBT: "...so we gotta nerf him."

Jerry: "....huh?"

RBT: " Yep. Nerfing his grey health hard. After all, fish can't breath above water lol"

Jerry: "Bu-but he needs buffs! Even his mains are losing hard!"

RBT: "Shut up Jerry, we on a roll. So you know how Aatrox is always seen toplane in the LCS?"

Jerry: "I mean, yeah, but honestly, he's so dominant, and has been nerfed so much to the point where I don't think we can do much about it."

RBT: "Thats the thing. We thought of a way to not nerf him AND for him to not appear in every game!"

Jerry: ".....please no."

RBT: "We're gonna buff the HELL outta riven and fiora. Riven gets more execution damage and fiora's q now works on turrets!"

Jerry: "There's literally nothing I can say to justify those buffs."

RBT:

Jerry:

RBT: "well what are you waiting for? You have 1 week to find out how to justify these buffs. GLHF jerry!'

Jerry: "I'm submitting my 2 weeks notice."

2 Comments

BandleBooty699/18/2019, 5:56:13 PM2 votes

riot to jerry: now listen to me young man, i am talking directly into your ear now. i need you to do me a favor. you will do this for me. i need you to go to gamestop, and i need you to ask the bastard working the counter if they have bambi on the ps2. if you come back empty handed youll be in big trouble mister. you will never see the light of day.

kaijukitten9/14/2019, 8:38:45 PM1 votes

Hashtag:SaveJerry