Jerry, the guy who somehow has to justify patch notes

Riot's Balance team: "Ay Jerry, get in here for a sec would ya?"

Jerry: "Oh no. Please. Don't do this to me. It was so difficult to justify last patch. Do you know how awkward it was to type 'yeah evelynn doesn't need a damage buff but is getting a massive one'?

RBT: "Jerry, come on, it ain't THAT ba-"

Jerry: "And there was the ekko buff, that came coincidentally before worlds. Like, even ekko mains are confused because ekko was in a good spot overall."

RBT:

Jerry: "And the f*cking Kaisa 'nerf' won't even effect her at all. I'm getting all the flame for something you guys propose!"

RBT: "may we remind you Jerry, as per contract, we said we would have the skin development team give you one ahri skin every 3 months in exchange for doing what we wish, correct?"

Jerry: "I mean, ye-"

RBT: "I knew youd understand Jerry! So now, to start off next patch, good news: sylas is getting nerfed!"

Jerry: "...oh! That's actually well needed. Good on you guys, the players will love to hear that!"

RBT: "It gets better, hear us out: you know how tahm kench is so strong right?"

Jerry: "well actually, ever since his nerfs, he's been in a horrendous state, and could use some bu-"

RBT: "...so we gotta nerf him."

Jerry: "....huh?"

RBT: " Yep. Nerfing his grey health hard. After all, fish can't breath above water lol"

Jerry: "Bu-but he needs buffs! Even his mains are losing hard!"

RBT: "Shut up Jerry, we on a roll. So you know how Aatrox is always seen toplane in the LCS?"

Jerry: "I mean, yeah, but honestly, he's so dominant, and has been nerfed so much to the point where I don't think we can do much about it."

RBT: "Thats the thing. We thought of a way to not nerf him AND for him to not appear in every game!"

Jerry: ".....please no."

RBT: "We're gonna buff the HELL outta riven and fiora. Riven gets more execution damage and fiora's q now works on turrets!"

Jerry: "There's literally nothing I can say to justify those buffs."

RBT:

Jerry:

RBT: "well what are you waiting for? You have 1 week to find out how to justify these buffs. GLHF jerry!'

Jerry: "I'm submitting my 2 weeks notice."