Your Last Played Champ is Now Your Parent/Guardian

Checks match history. - Frequent trips to Atlantic City and Las Vegas, high-rolling lifestyles, learning to cheat like a boss, and tons of poker puns are... in the cards. Dons sunglasses

Welcome to the Glorious Revolution!!

but daaaaddddd the puppy doesnt need laser eyes and a rocket launching tail!

Child: "Rengar! Someone bullied me at school!" :"Here. Take this knife, now remember, its not homicide if you hang his head on the wall." Child: "Thanks, Rengar!" (I CANT DECIDE IF THIS IS HORRIBLE PARENTING OR HOW TO END BULLYING)

SHURIMA! But- SHURIMA! That doesn't even- SHURIMA! You can't just- SHURIMA!

No better time to develop an Oedipus Complex.

seems like she'd be one of those moms that would let you drink beer in the house on your sixteen birthday then fatally stab you if you forget to empty the dishwasher.

: Sweety grab that soul for Daddy. Me: ;_;

at least I'll grow up informed...

Son! Catch this! chucks door

Me: crushed beneath door

No, no son. You catch with hands not with face!

Just traveling the dimensions and having some groovy times.

(The teacher from The Magic School Bus is my step mom. It was bad, don't ask.)

Did you trip? Bump your head? Skin your knee? Get beat up? Get stabbed? Get shot? Get hit by a truck? Step on a landmine? Get hit by a nuclear missile? Get thrown into the center of the sun? Be totally erased from history by the power of a spiteful god?

smooch all better kiddo

kthx mom

Wow. I have a suspicion I would only ever be bullied but a single time in school growing up.

Cupcakes everywhere along with everything tasting purple.

Not sure if that would make me quarter dragon or something... and I wouldn't want to make her angry...

I somehow feel absolutely fine with this.

I see you caused an accidental explosion in chemistry class today. Well done son.

Too lazy to check, but pretty sure it's

....wait, just who is the parent here?!?

Whelp, I'm already used to having gay parents.

Always wanted two moms, tho.

Well...I'll have nightmares for my life, but on the bright side...NO BULLIES! Me: Daad, I'm getting bullied at school. : Show me who it is. Me: points to the bullies the next day : DARKNESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

: Yes son? Me: Dad, I'm getting bullied again and my other father is in jail due to him killing people... : Here have a blade, now go gut those weaklings and make Daddy proud! Me: Ok....thinks to self I REALLY need help choosing new dads....

Nice, I get access to the void now. TRY BULLYING ME NOW D-BAGS HAHAHAHA

"Time for bed~"

"NO. NONOONOONONOOO."

H-he'll come back.....right?

Have you finished your shadow training son?

"Shurima's legacy will go on!"

"Wow, no pressure or anything... could I just be a doctor instead?

DJ Sona...yeah that works.

Still no child support and he went shopping for smokes 12 years ago.

:Come let me teach you the true art of war

Me: yes teach me father equips sick helmet ಠ_ಠ

I can deal with that, lovely music around the house. . but all my friends would try to bang her.

BUT HEY! I can't get yelled at for doing something wrong, lol.

Friend 1: So how come you only listen to metal now? Me: Well.... (Stands behind me) Misery loves company sweetie hue hue hue Me: That's why.

Does this mean I get my own ball? SWEET!

typical run away dad

Yorick. Me: Dad, I'm being bullied at school :They will remember Yorick Mori