Just realized the last one might be "Does Kayle have a Boyfriend?"
The last 3 lines of the list sounds like the best part

Note the first list. Its all items that have been discontinued having a dash through them.
Except Tear of the Goddess. Tear removal incoming?
When his to-do list doesn't say "Press R"
karthus does dry-cleaning.... -computing-
love that "vanquish enemies"
When your brain is rotting one needs help with memory
The list of deceased items include The Bloodthirster and Tear of the Goddess. Page 2, not included, lists Cull, Blade of the Ruined King and Infinity Edge.