Useful Retorts For Handling Toxic Players

Someone is bragging about outfarming you:

• "I am no peasant. What need have I for farming?"
• "I find that spartan builds allow my raw talent to shine."
• "By all means! Farm! More gold for me to pry from your grubby fingers when I shut you down."

Someone is bragging about winning the lane:

• "Allow me to bring to your attention the concept of luring a brutish foe into a trap..."
• "How will I feed my jungler if we're fighting at YOUR second tower?"
• "Those who celebrate small victories will achieve only small victories."

Someone is questioning your build:

• "The sparrow cannot hope to comprehend the flight of the hawk."
• "You have followed the same builds all this time, yet here you are in <rank>."
• "Placing stock in material things clouds one's understanding of the cerebral."

Someone is insulting your play/bragging about killing you:

• "Are we not matchmade? You are my equal in every way but wit."
• "The flames of the phoenix peak upon rebirth."
• "If the dog never catches the toy, he will stop playing."

Someone tells you to uninstall:

• "What need have I for League of Legends when I am already the liege of legends?"
• "But then who will document the frothing rage of the stray mongrels?"
• "If I listened to every fool who deemed himself worthy to command me, you would be looking in the mirror right now."

Someone tells you to shut up:

• "After much consideration, I have decided your wishes are not my command."
• "Very well. My lips are sealed. My fingers, however, have full run of the keyboard."
• "I'll comply on one condition: You have to mute me."