Zoe pisses off Runeterra (Feat. M. Graves and TF)

God damn it. What's up, Malcolm? My shotgun is jammed... with somethin'... Tough luck, Malcolm. ...really? Listen, I hardly get to say that. Let me do it this time. Fine. Wait... what's this thing in the barrel... is this- gah! Was that a pigeon? Reckon the little fella just flew in there when we were resting. Well, let's be on our way. ##Graves picks up a cigar and lights it I wouldn't do that if I were you! Huh? Who are you? And why shouldn't I- ##Cigar explodes and green goo splats all over Graves' face That's why! Haha! Agh. You little varmint. If you weren't a kid I'd teach ya a lesson about why they call me Graves. 'Cause it's your name? ###### Not now, Tobias. Ugh... what is this stuff anyway...? You don't want to know. In a high pitched squeak HELP ME! What in tarnation- Yeah I just gathered it up and threw it together. Whatcha think? What the hell...? Please help me... It hurts... oh god... Let's end its misery. Don't reach into your pocket. AGH! HOLY SH#T! My sapling! There you are! Give him to me, hat-man! Why don'tcha take your stupid thing. It's biting me something FIERCE! Hehe. This is no child. It's another Targonian pest. YOU! Hm? Oh, hey fishlocks! You burned a hole in my shark's stomach and you stole my trident. Give it back! Aw, come on, I'm just messing with you! THERE YOU ARE YOU ANNOYING LITTLE SHIT! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR MY MIRRORS! She just closed off the only portal to hell with a shit ton of stupid bubbles. SHE WILL BURN. She coated my blades in suds and now my blades slide off anyone I try to stab with them. She ruined my last assignment! My robes smell like garlic and someone's going to die for it. Gestures to strings covered in soap Oh, come on, none of these are that bad! SHE WASHED ME! It's an improvement. But the worst part is she used my chemical bottle to do it. SHE FLOODED THE CAPITAL OF SHURIMA. Ok, that was an accident. Besides, it's not as bad as what I did to that robot guy's lab. Your magical soap bubbles destroyed my life support equipment and hundreds of sick Zaunites died. And you took the power source for my lab. See? She screamed into my ears. And the screaming hasn't stopped since. Neat trick, huh? HELP MEEEEEE! SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO GET YOU OFF MY MOUSTACHE! Speaking of moustache... ##Ground starts shaking # YOU SHAVED BRAUM'S MOUSTACHE OFF! While dragging a dead Bristle Man, that's messed up. Ok, I admit I went overboard with that one. GAAAAAH I'M ANGRY I don't remember pranking you... Tryndamere, let's go back home. You can't keep doing this every time some mob in Runeterra gets angry. RAAAAARGH WHY THE BLOODY SHITE IS THERE SOAP IN MAH DRINK Aw, come on, everyone. It's not that bad. I mean, you could be like my space doggy. ###### WHEN I GET FREE OF THESE YOU'RE F*CKING DEAD, ASPECT OF TWILIGHT! GOOD BOY! I had the perfect arrangement... four seconds, 4:44 PM, on the fourth day of the fourth month on a year ending on the 4th... I was about to deliver my fourth shot on this fourth millisecond... when you... you disgusting creature... ...huh? # FOUR-CK YOU! ##Fires a bullet at Zoe Missed me! Yeah, but when you leave nobody will miss you. Oh, SHIYET! GOTEEM! Is this really what you dragged me out to see? Nah babe that's the little girl that put us to sleep mid-flight yesterday. I have a broken arm because of you, you little sh- oh wait, I forgot I can't say that. Looks at Zoe Not ok. Sorry, Rammus. Turns away Hmph. Uh... yeah... my hammer is in another dimension somewhere and I think you're to blame... You have been causing chaos in Ionia, Aspect of Twi- Hey guys I'm back. On second thought, I was just leaving. Ha... ha... Irelia runs off at incredible speed This deity has brought great imbalance to Runeterra- According to this world rune, her lore power is higher than yours. -and apparently I'm ok with this. I guess I'll just go bother Zed. I'm right here. Good. Now we have an audience. Hiya, flying bubble girl! Uh oh. Time to go! TIBBERS! ROAR Wait, you're not Tibb- JUST ROLL WITH IT! ONWARD! Ugh... can someone lend me a hand with this... goop?!? ...why is everyone looking at me? ...it was perfection...

Fin