Teemo's Advocate: Rengar
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Heeeeello and welcome back to Teemo's Advocate! Draven's your host, Primetime Draven. Our premiere episode got rave reviews, and we even got the attention of an acclaimed critic. Crisply pulls out a letter. Describing the show, he said simply, "That was extremely enjoyable to read." Draven tells you, some people just cannot get enough of Draven. Pulls out another letter. Here's another glowing review from a summoner named skaarj888, calling it a perfect 4/4. Heh, Jhin jokes. The man's almost as popular as Draven. Before we get started on this episode, meet my new intern, some guy with a helmet. Bro! Come out here!
Pants from exhaustion after running all the way upstairs and to the stage. Leans on contestant's booth.
Bro! Tell the lovely audience how you're doing!
Opens mouth to speak--
ROAR!! Leaps out of nowhere and mauls the man.
Wow, what an impressive entrance! Let's give it up for the Pridestalker, our newest contestant!
Stands from his work. Hmph. Pitiful weak creature. You are not worthy to hunt.
Well isn't that just fortunate huh Bro? How do you feel?
Silently whimpers.
Glad to hear it, now Rengar, are you aware of how the game works?
Yes, I have seen this show on the televisions of the Institute.
Well good! That means Draven only has to explain the new rule!
Growls. You did not mention new rules.
Plants feet on desk. You didn't ask. So basically our producer noticed that many of the previous judges would prematurely make their vote, often as soon as the ability was announced. While it was humorous, the producer still wants some semblance of you guys having a legitimate chance here, so the new rule is that the judges can't cast their vote until after the Teemo states their defense of the ability AND after a chance is made to call in an Advocate.
I will agree to these terms. Now let's begin. I need new prey.
Excellent. Draven admires the enthusiasm. Now on to our judges. As mentioned before the panel will consist of 5 champions from the 5 classes other than your own. Gestures to the long table with the multiparted curtain over it Now let's get this party started! Representing the Controller Class this game, we have, Bard!
Curtain rises to find the seat empty. Crowd gasps.
Laughs. Looks like Bard's off roaming again. I guess we can call in the--
Portal opens up through the chair seat, and Bard floats through it. He stands on the table, waving to the crowd.
Chimes while meeps run around the table in front of him. Crowd cheers as he sits down.
Well, just as usual he shows up just in time! Except in our last game where he only showed up to lane to watch me kill the nexus. But it's to be expected. After all the lane's only big enough for Draaaven.
Chimes.
Now for our next judge. Representing the Tanks we have Rammus!
Curtain rises to show him sitting on his seat. Staring blankly ahead.
So Rammus, got anything to say to the people at home?
OK.
Draven honestly doesn't know why he expected a different answer. Representing the Fighter Class we have Lee Sin!
Curtain raises to find him sitting calmly at his seat. Few people clap. A blind man once said, master yourself before you can master your true self. Crowd ooos and aaas.
What wise words Lee, honestly where do you come up with this stuff? Draven wants to know.
My sayings usually come to mind when I am kicking teeth in. My mind is free to wander and explore the secrets of the cosmos while I participate in matches.
Wow, such impressive multitasking skill! You're almost as good as Draven.
Yes... Multitasking.
Our next judge is only able to be called a Mage by technicalities, but Draven thinks none of us mind to welcome her in. Give it up for Nidalee!
Curtain raises as she sits in cougar form at first. Transforms into a human to appreciative cheer. Hey Tiger. Winks at Rengar.
Loses Ferocity Stacks. And control of face color.
Well well, looks like the rumors are true--Hey!
Leaps across the stage to grab Draven by the collar and lift him in the air. Say a word about this and I will gut you.
Yeah, sure. But you do know you're on TV, right?
Looks towards camera. Hastily drops Draven and slinks back to his booth.
Chimes at Nidalee.
Scoffs. You wish.
Straightens out suit and brushes himself off. Looking as gorgeous as always Nidalee, but don't worry. Maybe one day you'll look as good as Draven. Ignores glare shot his way. Now for our final judge, from the Marksmen. They always come in twos but today they'll be voting as one! Give it up for Kindred!
Curtain rises. Lamb sits calmly on her chair, while Wolf moves erratically in her general area, quite antsy. Crowd is deathly silent. Lamb: Dear wolf, please calm down and sit here with me. Wolf: I can't, Lamb! I must hunt! Lamb: Patience dear wolf, this will be over soon and we will go back to hunting.
Well now, things just got quiet as a grave in here. Come on and give them a round of applause!
Crowd tentatively cheers. Wolf laughs hard. Wolf: I get it! I get the joke! Do you get it dear Lamb? Lamb: Yes, I get it. it was a technique used to ease the tension in this room. Frankly it worked quite well.
Well now, everyone is settled in, are there any preliminary complaints to start us off?
Chimes
OK.
A man's journey begins with his first step, so does the hunter begin his first step of his journey with being a fluffy kitten.
Growls Do not speak in riddles, blind man. If I find you concealing insults in your words, you will become a blind and paralyzed man.
A blind man one said, "A kitten thinking he is a lion harms nobody but his roommate named Dignity."
Steps forward but is restrained by Gragas. Let me go fat man! I must take this man's head for his insolence!
Words are slurred due to intoxication. Look, I dun wanna do this. But they're givin' me loads of drinks for keepin' you from killin' eashother, so get back to your booth. Pushes him back to his booth as he speaks.
I for one think Rengar's just... fine.
Clears throat. Come on Nid, not on camera.
Lamb: What are your thoughts dear wolf? Wolf: On what Lamb? Lamb What are your thoughts on the Pridestalker? Wolf: I... Do not know. I do not know him but something about him makes me want to chase him. Is he close to death? Lamb: Not this time Wolf. This is likely a result of your canine physiology combined with your volatile emotional state and your desire for activity that has caused you to want to chase Rengar, who is essentially a cat. Looks to Draven. As for my thoughts on Rengar, I believe that as a fighter-assassin combination depending on how he builds, he is essentially a very feast or famine combatant on the Fields. His kit does not offer enough---
Holds up hands. Woah there little lamb, Draven doesn't speak nerd. Can you try condensing it?
Lamb somehow looks confused behind her mask. Lamb: I'm sorry, I thought very lengthy and detailed answers were expected from me. Pulls out several sheets of paper. I have compiled a comprehensive list on my current thoughts of Rengar's abilities on the Rift, backed up by statistics and analysis of winrates and playrates as well as common roles, build paths, and niches. This way I can make the most informed decision on whether or not to---
Raises up hands again. Look, this isn't a documentary. This is a fly by the seat of your pants show. Say to gut it if you feel it's too strong. That's all.
Lamb: I'm sorry, but don't you think that more thought should be put into whether or not a champion should be cursed to lose parts of their kits without compensation?
Of course not. Leans back in chair. These champs are considered broken by their peers for a reason and they want them gutted. Numbers aren't gonna change that, so why bother bringing them up? It's not like you two have suffered from... trails off as Lamb looks down at the floor. Oh. Right.
Lamb speaks stiffly. Lamb: I will leave this to wolf then. Wolf: I don't like the cat. He smells wrong. And he kills Lamb when he catches her alone on the Rift!
I get hungry for lamb chops every so often. Predators take what they want.
Wolf snarls.
Welp, in that case we can finally get started! Let's get this show on the road!
#Ability One: Savagery
Okay, let's start with his Q. An AOE skillshot of sorts, it has a 30-70% bonus AD scaling based on rank with a 4 second cooldown. The slash deals this damage and the piercing attack deals the same damage again. Empowered it deals up to 220% bonus AD scaling damage.
Chimes.
What is he saying?
The Kill Stealer from our last game said that he is concerned about the overall damage of this spell for being at such a short cooldown.
Bard gives Draven a questioning look as Rengar speaks. This spell is designed to be my main damage ability. You see, my other spells are merely tools to get to my prey, and Savagery allows me to actually kill. My other spells deal no damage.
What of your ult?
Relatively no damage.
Any more questions about the spell? Waits for a response. Okay then, cast votes now.
. Chimes.
The CS stealer from last game said that it simply does too much damage early in the game thanks to the insane amounts of damage you get from your bonetooth necklace.
gives a predatory smile. It is not my fault that your team is so weak they are easily slain by me in the early game.
headbutts the 
Ok.
You can be Savage alright, but you know how to do it. You have lots of experience with wild animals.
Wolf hits the Wolf: I do not like you! Turns to Lamb. Am I doing it right? Lamb currently is sitting with her arms crossed. Lamb: Yes Wolf, you are indeed eschewing logic to use emotions instead.
Looks like we're neck and neck now. Lee Sin is the tie breaker.
Waits for a minute.
WHAT?!
A blind man once said, "I do not appreciate a champion that has the potential to outdamage my early game in the Rift. It is my solemn ground, my refuge. Where my strength lies." The other judges look at him. It's true.
I'm getting you on here next.
There have been many wise women throughout history. You are not one of them, though you try your very best you flounder. It is like watching an elephant fly for the first time. It looks impressive at first, but then you realize that it was not in fact the elephant but a traveling Magician that happened to move the elephant with magic because he owed money on his home and couldn't afford a reverse mortgage.
What?
... I admit that one got away from me.
Ouch Rengar, not a great start, but you still got plenty of time left to make it through the gauntlet!
#Ability Two: Battle Roar
Alright, this one is a simple ability. Half of Rengar's damage taken in the last 1.5 seconds is turned into grey health, and Battle roar deals a magic damage around him with an 80% AP ratio. It also heals back all his grey health. When empowered it works like a QSS, removing all CC currently on him.
It is necessary for my sustain in battle. Otherwise I will have to build tank items.
chimes
The gutless coward that left my lane during our last game said that this spell has been nerfed enough recently.
Ok.
Agreed. He can no longer stop my kick of skill, so he is balanced.
I've heard you let out your fair share of roars...
Thanks Nidalee, although your vote wasn't needed. We already reached a majority in favor of leaving this spell alone. But could you perhaps tell Draven more about---
No! Let us continue!
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#Ability 3: Bola Strike
This one is also basic. He throws a bola at you, slowing you and hurting you a tad. If it's empowered it hurts a little more and it roots instead. I really don't think there's much to this, so let's make this quick.
This spell is needed to catch the runners. So it is designed to do just that. Nothing more.
chimes
What is wrong with it?
The support who never warded last game says that a 90% slow at max rank is too much. It might as well be a root at that point.
Would you rather it be a stun balloon man?
chimes irritably.
You're quite handy with that bola; besides all your intended prey can simply dodge it. If they can dodge my spears they can dodge your bola.
Ok.
He would be lucky to hit me with that. It rewards skill. It is fine.
Well, you got two checks in a row. Draven's pretty sure that's a new record. Just one more check and you're walking out of here with a fabulous prize.
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#Ability Four: Thrill of the Hunt
Alright, this spell camouflages Rengar after 2 seconds. While vanished he gets 40% movement speed and can see the nearest enemy champion, and when he leaps to them a crit is guaranteed. At max rank this kitty is staying unspotted for 20 whole seconds.
This is my main hunting spell. It is my tool to stalk my prey, to leap from the shadows and gut my prize. Besides, my target can plainly see my intended target, and I can only see the closest enemy.
Chimes.
The guy who didn't sacrifice himself for Draven last game said--- trails off as Bard gets up and walks over to Draven's desk.
Flips bird. Walks back to table and sits down calmly.
Shocked at first, but clears throat and attempts to continue. Bard says this spell along with your empowered Q is how you oneshot people.
Ulting prey plus Savagery plus auto attack isn't oneshotting.
Shrugs Talk to them, not me.
Not ok.
Everyone stares at Rammus.
I can't see him and then he jumps out of nowhere and oneshots me. No counterplay.
Uh-oh Rengar, Draven can tell this is going to get intense quickly. For we have to do the FINAL ROUND, Sudden Death! The Shrooming!
#THE SHROOMING
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#PASSIVE
#UNSEEN PREDATOR
Takes out long page. Okay, this is his passive. Basically he can jump from bushes or stealth to get people. He also gets a bonetooth necklace that makes him stronger every time he kills a unique champ, and his mana bar is replaced by Ferocity.
I have only one thing to say. Strike down my kit and I will personally hunt each and every one of you down.
Not Ok.
His passive is fine. It rewards him for doing well.
chimes
He said the necklace is too broken. It makes him either too strong or too weak.
Wolf: I do not like you. I will hit "Gut." Lamb moves and hits first. Lamb: Now wolf, that is quite enough. We do not gut champions because we do not like them. I have thought we have avoided this because we know how it feels.
It all comes down to this folks; Lee Sin determines whether or not Rengar gets gutted. He could go either way, Draven is eager to see how this unfolds.
. A blind man once said, "We do what we must. I do what I wish."
Leaps from booth and rushes to sink his teeth into Lee's neck. Then a dart hits his neck and he falls to the floor, sliding across it until he nearly falls off the stage. He then appears to float as he is taken to the dark corner. The chipper laugh is heard once again.
Well then, that was intense! Draven has never seen someone get so close to freedom, yet fall so far. Until next time, remember to never get Bard to support you.
You know what? Honestly just go @$&! off.
I can see the future and even I didn't see that coming.
Stares agape. You can talk?
Chimes.
Err, right. A quick word from our sponsors; Draven. Where shopping is a pleasure. Draven out.
XD
