Just what the title says heres mine
: Diana that was a horrible attempt to steal dragon.
: Yay Diana that was a bad idea why would you try that?
: Meh i had to try, our MF thinks the D in ADC is douche so it was either that or get flamed alive.
: REPORT DIANA
Right after flashing in to steal a pentakil from a teammate:
: #UrgotToBeQuickerThanThat
After flashing in base 0:05 seconds in.
Ally 
"Holy shit!!! I thought I saw a spider"
Announcer: An ally 
is godlike!
: I don't need the announcer to tell me I'm godlike.
(Our Lucian gets a double kill bot at lvl 6)
Immediately after in the all-chat
: FAK
: Bot, do you need a sweater?
: What?
: It looks like you just got a little culled
I was messing around with some friends and wanted to do mid-lane Nautilus. I got a bunch of crap from my friends about its viability, but I eventually convinced them I could make it work. The enemy picked LeBlanc, who is my single most-hated champion in this game, and the group I was with knows it. Still, I had faith that I could beat her with Nautilus. They continued to doubt up until the "First Blood!" message showed me killing LB. I won lane, but our top fed hard and our bot didn't do so well either. We ended up losing the game, but LeBlanc was so behind all game that she was never a major threat to our team.
Fast-forward to post game chat...
: Okay, so that didn't go so well, but can we please all agree that it was NAUT my fault?
: HAH!
: That was so bad.
: I'm so sorry.
: I don't know what came over me.
: Someone love me.
: BOO!
: Get out.
(game just started)
: "Report everyone :D"
:"why not"
"I'm toxic, you know?"
:"gotta handle some balls to get over that one"
:"also ori is a bot"
Was a really fun game.
(After using a friend's very well timed hook)
: I use my hook to escape
: I use my hook to escape
: F*CK your hook
: I use my hook to fist garen
(Friend is upset about something)
: ... Do you want some water with your tears?
My team in all chat:
: I'm in Silver 4
: I'm unranked....
Enemy Team in all chat:
: And I'm in Ahri.... :)
who spammed endlessly is joke the whole laning phase, damn i wanted smash him hard, fking outrageous gems xD
(All): dick move noc, leave my buffs alone
(All): i left the little ones so you can put them out of their misery
(All): FUCK YO BUFFS, BUY ANOTHER ONE YA FED MF
(All): DARKNESSES, DARKNESSES
(All): i'm sorry for being literally incapable of ganking all three lanes at the same time
(All): also if you steal red buff without asking cuz i know you will
(All): be sure to deliver it to their adc before it runs out
(All): that'll be my fault too somehow
(All): you know what just report me for jungling
(All): They call me...The Janitor.
(All): maybe your employer does but only when he can't remember your name
(All): report diana toxic
(All): i've ganked your lane three times and you missed your E every single time
(All): bite me sun-hugger
(All): jinx is already bronze from standing near you
So I'm play Lissandra (my main). I'm going 7/1/6 or something and I was just about to get legendary, they are doing Baron and I watched them engage so I saunder over to Baron ward and what do you know the stupid Katarina who killed me is there. BOOM try hard initiated. I E in (it's the claw move for those who don't play her) to Baron pit W Baron then Q (Baron steal) then I Ult Katarina get the kill and flash out.
Then this interaction happens
oh, ok
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Screw you **** (there shaco btw)
Shaco just "let it go"
Lol I thought it was funny.
OMG do some damge and help me!!!
.........
From my Tribunal case XD
gp give morale before this engage
ok
GO TRIST YOU CAN DO IT
Basically whenever I play Gangplank it's a bunch of booty puns and remixing You Are a Pirate.
Yarr harr fiddle de dee.
Being a pirate is freaking OP.
Criting all day and ignoring CC.
You are a pirate!
Edit: Almost forgot, whenever I escape the enemy team on low health...
GENTLEMEN!
Milady.
You shall remember this as the day you ALMOST caught...
...CAPTAIN GANGPLANK!
Don't steal this, but whenever my team makes an epic comeback and wins the game, I go in post-game lobby and say:
"The sperm donor called"
"He wanted his comeback"
My brother is flaming as malzahar, I'm carrying as fiora
: YOU GUYS ALL ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECES OF TRASH FUCK YOU STOP STEALING MY KILLS
: ks stands for kill secure
: SHUT THE FUCK UP DUDE
: is it hot in here or is malzhar just flaming
(i hear infuriated shouting from my brother's room)
Me playing as lee sin i use my ult to kill the enemy adc my team's support: /all Noob lee used ult for kills and didn;t kick me to safety
everyone in game reported my team's support for toxic
During Champion Select:
INSTALOCK POWAAA!!!
Wtf your not jg i am, you didn't even call a lane you ass
gg, fucking normals all trolls i swear
TOP!! cause im a boss, #always on top
Dude really? you have to be kidding me.. someone dodge please
dodge deez nuts my Q will reign supreme to teleporting and kicking them in the nuts
gg im feeding
Team #Feed
.................... surrender at 20
ALL I DO IS FEED FEED FEED NO MATTER WHAT GOT FEEDING ON MY MIND I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH, EVERY TIME I DIE ALLY TEAM'S LIKE GG DARIUS FEEDING GG DARIUS FEEDING. I WAS THE REAL FEEDER HERE NOOBS
Me: I have played like... A ga
games by now.
Teammate 1: I call it a that I saw that. :P
Teammate 2: This is beyond the hold of how many puns I can stand.
Had a bit of a funny one during a game where I was playing 
jungle. I was coming top to gank for our 
, but he ended up dying to Sata
. Teemo was at really low health, so I run in to kill him. Turns out he was attempting to trash talk in chat, resulting in this little exchange:
(All): croc vs squirrel
An enemy has been slain!
(All): Boar wins.
I always love to ping a jungler who's starting Gromp to assist at blue, then tell him maybe he should start krugs. You can always tell who's going to be fun to play with based on the response.
: uh oh guys i just bought something that burns
: weed?
: weed?
(me): jews?
heres another akali and panth are leashing j4
: (starts dancing)
: my right arm is a lot stronger than my left one
: my spear is restless
so one game the adc was spamming the support with pings that were actually useful, but overused, so i decided to just randomly send pings following the whole team. The adc got so mad and then in post game lobby i was like "it was me"
: lucian stop pinging I'm getting lag
: I'm just trying to be a team player
me: (starts pings following nami for the whole game
: LUCIAN I SWEAR IM GONNA FUCKING REPORT YOUR ASS
: IM NOT PINGING DIPSHIT YOU'RE JUST PINGING YOURSELF TO GET ATTENTION
me: lmao (as I'm dying of laughter behind my computer
(continues for the next 35 minutes)
(post game lobby)
: report lucian for horrible pinging and trolling
: IT WASNT ME FUCK YOU ASSHOLE
me: it was me XD
: asshole
: IM GONNA REPORT YOUR ASS
rest of team: XD this game
I don't have anything specific, but in a few games I have had people call out my summoner name with its pun for its relation to a particular fruit.
I tell them I'm actually a moron because I spelled Kumquats wrong.
