Bad jokes/puns thread

MutantClaw·Mar 21, 2015·3 votes·1,463 views

What the title says I'll start it off with one of each: Why does a gorilla have a big nose? Because he has big hands. :P Ok sorry for that, it was an absolute KAT-ASTROPHE

15 Comments

Ironclad DragonMar 21, 20155 votes

{quoted}

As a "pun master", you must be to "teach" me… but let me tell you something. I am not when I say I am the Pungeon Master. Call me but I don’t believe you are fully aware of who I am. To invoke my true name is to call down upon your house and family. You wouldn't want that, would you? After all, 's a -blam!-. So, let me divulge to you a handful of monikers that have been given to me over the years:

The of God

Fire

Tamer of -er Maws

The of House Kaiju

The Eighth Dead .

Annieway, I digress. Allow me to tell you what a proper pun is: a pun is a word of art, a true display of skill. It takes more than just brains and . to have a -y typing finger, a quick wit and most of all, peace of mind. But the day-to-day demands of "friends" and "family" all but make that impossible! Therefore, you must all connection with the outside world; isolate yourself from your friends and family. Only then can you will attain true pun .

But do not deceive yourself by thinking you can approach my level. I’m to tell you... as a friendly comedian... it’s impossible. Healthy men take -agra just so they can compete with me; of ; a force of nature. Simply put: calling be a mere "student" is a big .

I will not allow you to my honor; strike me, and nothing will save you from the I'd have in store for you. I -tee that if we were to , you'd experience pain beyond ing... but I would not you. That'd be too simple. Only I've claimed e... when Riot is s... then you would have my permission to die.

You might be thinking, "Maybe I bribe him if he gets mad?" to that! ―William Shakespeare

Once it 's, my knows no bounds! Not death, not a Lolli-, not a bottle of -y soda, not of bread, and not even a plate of masterfully-cooked plate of Flap would save you from me!

But I've explained this to you, haven’t I?

... I've gone overboard again. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I need a ca- for my rage. Let’s get it back on-topic... before it decides to both. But for the record, I set the stand for pun master.

IcyPepperMar 21, 20151 votes

Damn, you are a legendary hero. All you need is a traveling minstrel and a singing Bard

Ironclad DragonMar 21, 20152 votes

I know. I'm de Zyra ble.

IcyPepperMar 21, 20151 votes

For you, I'd write a Sona ta

MutantClawMar 21, 20151 votes

How long did this Aatrox -ity take you to write? I can Garen -tee that you have lowered the for puns, and that you have Jinx -ed all of us to recite bad puns 'till the end of time. I refuse to LeeSin to these un Volibear able puns any longer.

Tentacle LoveMar 23, 20151 votes

you messed up your annie pun.

2000boxesMar 24, 20151 votes

what does im janna to tell you even mean and what word is it supposed to sound like? because the only word that comes to mind that sounds like jaw-n-a is gonna but that has a g sound at the beginning, and "gonna to tell you" isn't proper grammar.

Ironclad DragonMar 24, 20151 votes

I'm just janna tell you. It's a weak "trying".

The Chain WarderMar 21, 20153 votes

http://weknowmemes.com/generator/uploads/generated/g1368210048888572596.jpg I apologize; that was terrible. Downvote if you must.

Ironclad DragonMar 21, 20151 votes

I have conflicting feelings of this.

2000boxesMar 24, 20151 votes

well now i know what people do with the rest of the animal's body when they hang just the head on their wall

Lights And MagicMar 21, 20151 votes

inb4 the same 10 puns that everybody all read on a calbel video

MutantClawMar 21, 20151 votes

no pls no cow puns Alistar

Xx420n0sc0p3sxXMar 22, 20151 votes

Some is obviously a COWard to Ali puns.

Athenes LuluMar 24, 20151 votes

Why is autumn Humpty Dumpty's favorite season? Because he had a great fall!

So we all know that dogs like to pee at fire hydrants. What chemical does the fire hydrant contain that makes dogs want to pee there all the time? K9P.