Bad jokes/puns thread
What the title says
I'll start it off with one of each:
Why does a gorilla 
have a big nose?
Because he has big hands. :P
Ok sorry for that, it was an absolute KAT-ASTROPHE
15 Comments
As a "pun master", you must be
to "teach" me… but let me tell you something. I am not
when I say I am the Pungeon Master. Call me
but I don’t believe you are fully aware of who I am. To invoke my true name is to call down
upon your house and family. You wouldn't want that, would you? After all,
's a -blam!-. So, let me divulge to you a handful of monikers that have been given to me over the years:
- The
of God
- Fire
- Tamer of
-er Maws
- The
of House Kaiju
- The Eighth Dead
.
Annieway, I digress. Allow me to tell you what a proper pun is: a pun is a word of art, a true display of skill. It takes more than just brains and
.
to have a
-y typing finger, a quick wit and most of all, peace of mind. But the day-to-day demands of "friends" and "family" all but make that impossible! Therefore, you must
all connection with the outside world; isolate yourself from your friends and family. Only then can you will attain true pun
.
But do not deceive yourself by thinking you can approach my level. I’m
to tell you... as a friendly comedian... it’s impossible. Healthy men take
-agra just so they can compete with me;
of
; a force of nature. Simply put: calling be a mere "student" is a big
.
I will not allow you to
my honor; strike me, and nothing will save you from the
I'd have in store for you. I
-tee that if we were to
, you'd experience pain beyond
ing... but I would not
you. That'd be too simple. Only I've claimed
e... when Riot is
s... then you would have my permission to die.
You might be thinking, "Maybe I bribe him if he gets mad?"
to that! ―William Shakespeare
Once it
's, my
knows no bounds! Not death, not a Lolli-
, not a bottle of
-y soda, not
of bread, and not even a plate of masterfully-cooked plate of Flap
would save you from me!
But I've
explained this to you, haven’t I?
... I've gone overboard again. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I need a ca-
for my rage. Let’s get it back on-topic... before it decides to
both. But for the record, I set the stan
d for pun master.
http://weknowmemes.com/generator/uploads/generated/g1368210048888572596.jpg I apologize; that was terrible. Downvote if you must.
inb4 the same 10 puns that everybody all read on a calbel video
Why is autumn Humpty Dumpty's favorite season? Because he had a great fall!
So we all know that dogs like to pee at fire hydrants. What chemical does the fire hydrant contain that makes dogs want to pee there all the time? K9P.