For all of you against the Galactic Empire...
What the hell is wrong with you?
- The system is in balance.
- Democracy was bullshit anyway.
- All the Jedi did was defend their Order, they didn't care about citizens as much as planets and territories.
- We have the Galatic peacekeeping committee, and so far six systems have been liberated from independent control.
Oh, but the Empire is so war-like! Look at all those storm troopers! What a stereotyping person. Storm troopers were never made for war, they were made to provide umbrellas to citizens during rainy days, especially on planets with acid precipitation. They can't even aim properly, we only resorted to using them because we were not war-like enough.
Then what the hell is the Death Star? You know, the giant space station meant for destroying planets?!? I'm not sure where this rumor came about, since we have never even though about pouring resources into such a tedious and unnecessary project. And whenever we want proof provided of such a horrible thing existing, people just say, "oh, it got destroyed." Wow, how convenient that this mysterious space station that supposedly blow up planets suddenly got destroyed. This is a baseless theory and is considered slander of the efforts of our fellow Galactic workers who risk their lives for the peace of the Galaxy.
Then how did Alderaan get destroyed?!? Reactor failure on the planet's surface, duh. Happens all the time.
Didn't Lord Vader capture a senator of the galactic senate, princess Leia? This information is false. Lord Vader and Senator Leia held a secret meeting aboard one of our imperial fleet ships, and those rumors are entirely untrue.
Why does Emperor Palpatine wear a hood all the time? The galaxy has many diverse styles, including some planets where the denizen's feces are worn as scarves. I doubt a woven hood is the most strange thing to wear around.
Isn't Kylo Ren, a member of the Sith, too young and brash to be leading a battalion? Kylo Ren is under close supervision of our Department of Psychiatric Recovery's leader, Snoke. He many be intimidating, but his hobbies include gardening, pleasant conversations, and camping. He is a very trustworthy person, and is supervising Ren to see if he has managed his anger enough to be fit for a leadership role.
What about Jar Jar? Didn't he last week go on a killing spree of innocent citizens? Occasionally the pressure of work is too much for our associates and they cannot mentally take it. We are currently attempting to place in efforts to halt Jar Jar's outburst and place him on psychiatric leave.
#If you have any worries about the Galactic Empire or any questions, feel free to discuss them below. I will do my best to answer them, and disprove any of the malicious rumors floating around.
