How to play Mordekaiser by a Vladimir main, feat. a Mordekaiser main.
Hi everyone!
If you've clicked on this thread, it's because for some inexplicable reason you want to learn how to play Mordekaiser from a Vladimir main. Using the information I've gained from watching my good friend and arch-nemesis Malicious Metal, I will help you learn how to play Mordekaiser!
The first thing about maining, or even casually playing Mordekaiser, has nothing to do with actually playing Mordekaiser. You must change your name to something related to Mordekaiser, as Malicious Metal, Maximum Morde, Mordepool, and many other Mordekaiser mains have done so. This is in order to intimidate your opponent the moment you enter the loading screen, as they will see you main a Champion that Riot has abandoned, and will become so flabbergasted that someone mains that Champion at all, and forget how to lane entirely, giving you free kills to snowball.
The second thing to do when playing Mordekaiser, also has very little to do with playing Mordekaiser. You must go on the Boards/Reddit/Tinder, and spam posts about Mordekaisers balance. The more times you make several threads saying basically the same thing, the better. Insist that Mordekaiser is a terrible Champion, buggier than a Bethesda game on release, is severely underpowered and desperately in need of his VGU/buffs, all the while stomping games into oblivion and forcing 20 minute surrenders.
https://i.imgur.com/Q4xbUJJ.png
https://i.imgur.com/36cwBEw.png
https://i.imgur.com/miSsVQt.png
https://i.imgur.com/EIHpool.png
Contrary to what most think, Mordekaiser has some CC. Constant Complaining. Sadly, this CC only affects people who have the terrible 
to be in voice chat with you. Possibly my favourite complaint is that a Malphite with Frozen Heart can E Mordekaiser and reduce his attack speed to such pitiful levels that the Q buff runs out before Morde can get the third Q off.
Thirdly, once more, is not about playing Mordekaiser. Rather, it's what happens when you play other Champions. Almost as much as I've heard the Triple-Barrel Combo (Screaming-Sighing-"Casttimes") from Tidal Tyrant, I've also heard the forlorn, lone cry of "I would have won this lane so easily if I was Morde", from Malicious's svelt voice in my ear.
https://i.imgur.com/17Wp6n2.png
It's a good thing Malicious is Italian, because I'm never spaghetting over that game.
When you're playing Mordekaiser, you must come to terms with the fact that at least one person in the lane is having zero fun. If you already main top lane, you already understand this and can skip this step. However, if you decide for some reason decide to take Mordekaiser bot lane, ask your support to take a tank. 
are excellent choices. Playing bot lane also allows you to get quick dragons once you've inevitably won your lane with your fair and balanced interaction pattern, which allows you to further push your lane. At least 80% of the time, getting a Dragonforce Dragon allows you to get a free tower. However, this does not apply to Elder Drake.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m75x48Bsfc1qbymseo3_500.gif
https://i.imgflip.com/1aenyc.jpg
Elder Drake grants you victory, regardless of what happened for the rest of the game.
Now of course, if anyone has read my first thread of this nature - http://boards.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/memes/Ak9ANapd-how-to-play-gangplank-by-a-vladimir-main-feat-a-gangplank-main you - they'll know that the most important part of playing any Champion is making puns - trust me I'm a Vladimir main. Here are some examples:
"Your Seoul is mine." - Killing a Korean player. "Your Sole is mine" - Killing a Nami or a Fizz. "Mordkekaiser." - Any time. "Mordekaiser goes to the beach, there are no waves." - Any time. "Come on, let's not be dragon this game out." - Getting first drake and pushing several towers before it dies. "Come on, let's be dragon this game out." - Losing heavily and waiting for the Elder Dragon bullshit power-up. "I metal my friends at concerts." - Any time, preferably using Pentakill Mordekaiser. "Whoever did Mordekaiser during the juggernaut update CertainlyT is a great designer and there is no sarcasm whatsoever in my comment at all." - Any time.
Finally, you must never back down from a fight. Nothing more to it.
Using the steps above, you too can play Mordekaiser!
Like with my Gangplank thread, I had Malicious's express permission to undertake this little exercise in making fun of him, and we're good friends outside of the game. Almost all of the above is exaggeration, and I have a deep respect for the man. I look forward to whatever revenge he takes upon me in turn.
Reuploaded.
