How to play Gangplank by a Vladimir main, feat. a Gangplank main.

Over Innsmouth·11/3/2016, 7:37:52 PM·76 votes·4,606 views

Hi everyone!

If you've clicked on this thread, it's because you want to learn how to play Gangplank from a Vladimir main, using the information I've learned from watching my good friend Tidal Tyrant rarely succeed at the Champion.

The first thing you want to do is buy a skin. It doesnt matter which skin, but make sure you have one. Unless you're playing Ranked, in which case you must channel your inner Faker and use the classic skin. Either classic skin. This is something I have watched Tidal do for no apparent reason, but it must be followed.

The second thing you must do is always have your pinky finger ready to slam down on that caps lock so you can /r message a friend with all the salt from the ocean. Typically, you will need to first do this before you even get into game, as Champion Select will let you know what you have to lane against. As someone who also suffers top, I can attest to Tidal's notion that all top laners are awful to play against. No fun is had up on the island, and you will die. It is for this reason you must always be ready to use the /r function to vent.

Thirdly, your greatest enemy and worst matchup is not any of the Champions you will find on the roster. It is - as Tidal has said so very frequently from the depths of the grey screen - your cast times. Gangplank is a very good Champ who likes to build a lot of CDR, but sadly no amount of CDR will save him from his cast times. Seems like he needs to cast off and pick a certain blood mage better Champion.

Fourth, Gangplank's Q is ranged, but functions as a melee autoattack. Using Q on enemy Champions nets you +10 gold every 5 seconds if you have the Bandit Mastery equipped. This is very good because it means that coupled with his Plunder passive on the same ability, Gangplank will never be behind in gold. This means that when you get ganked (when, not if, because Gangplank is apparently a nice squishy jungle camp that escaped from the woods), you can go back and by your first item, Trinity Force, because of that hugely broken +10 gold on Q. Make sure to always complain about when Riot removed crit from the item upon purchasing, and every time you don't crit on a Powder Keg-combo.

Fifth, the icon for your ult is wrong. It is a bug that Riot still has not fixed. In-game, it looks like this:

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/leagueoflegends/images/d/d2/Cannon_Barrage.png/revision/latest?cb=20150707190027&format=webp

But it should actually look like this:

http://img.pandawhale.com/75149-Huell-rolling-money-bed-gif-D6gB.gif

Your ult is only for taking gold away from your ADC/Mid/Support/Jungler/Grandmother who was moving towards the 20+ minion wave. Definitely never use it to stop the enemy from taking an objective, or for ganking another lane for your allies. Why do that when you can get an extra 200g without having to leave lane?

Sixth of all - and the most important step - make as many puns as you can. This is true of any Champion - trust me I'm a Vladimir main - so I am here to help you with some basic situations where you can make puns:

"Thankplank for the Gankplank." - Upon using your Ult to kill steal help your team. "Powder Kek." - Any time. "What do Gangplank and Gragas have in common? They're both barrel-chested." - Any time, helps if there is a Gragas in the game. "Call me Spankplank." - Upon laning against an Illaoi. "Call me Wankplank." - Upon losing to an Illaoi. "I lost my ship, but not my sole." - Upon purchasing boots. "I pi_rate_ this Champion 10/10." - Any time, best after a kill or a death.

Finally, you must have Rank 7 Mastery on Gangplank. You are not allowed to play Gangplank without it, otherwise you will be unable to express your skill and exceptional prowess whenever you get a kill/die/ult/spam laugh/shitpost/take a dump.

Using the steps above, you too can play Gangplank.


Before I get sniped down by anyone, I'd like to say that I had Tidal's permission to do this, and we are indeed good friends in real life. Almost all of the above is (based-upon) exaggeration, and I have a deep respect for the man. I look forward to whatever revenge he takes upon me in turn.

71 Comments

Ralanr11/3/2016, 7:41:54 PM50 votes

This is 100% accurate because you pointed out that every top laner hates fighting every top laner.

Upvoted to infinity and beyond.

Malicious Metal11/3/2016, 8:05:10 PM26 votes

This is so accurate it hurts. Oh god....

Thankfully my Morde's way too good to be parodied XD

EvilUnicornLord11/3/2016, 7:52:07 PM25 votes

Skin: Check. They're jars, not barrels. Pinky Finger: Check. Because I have no innate salt, I keep a can of Morton next to the monitor just in case. Cast Times: Check. 45% CDR at any given time, still can't press W fast enough. Bandit: Check. Already have that on Poppy for shield-throwing. Icon: Check. Swim in the moolah. Puns: Check. /all chat is my friend. Mastery Score Seve- ...HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO ALREADY HAVE MASTERY SCORE SEVEN ON GANGPLANK WHEN I'M STILL LEARNING HOW TO PLAY HIM!?!?

Sona x Rubick11/3/2016, 7:40:55 PM21 votes

also:

Gangplank you're a pirate, you must have 0 assists in the end

Sahn Uzal11/3/2016, 7:51:32 PM11 votes

Welcome to the Comedy Central roast of Tidal Tyrant!

In seriousness, I have given permittion for this thread. The line between Satire and Personal attacks can, occasionally be vague, so just to be sure ^^

-_-

Thirdly, your greatest enemy and worst matchup is not any of the Champions you will find on the roster. It is - as Tidal has said so very frequently from the depths of the grey screen - your cast times. Gangplank is a very good Champ who likes to build a lot of CDR, but sadly no amount of CDR will save him from his cast times. Seems like he needs to cast off and pick a certain blood mage better Champion.

You don't want to know the amount of times I've died while casting my Oranges. I WANT TO BE K DUDE! I JUST WANT TO BE K ;_;

when, not if, because Gangplank is apparently a nice squishy jungle camp that escaped from the woods

I identify as a cannon http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/leagueoflegends/images/9/97/Fire_At_Will_item.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/20?cb=20150708135045&format=webp minion, you ignorant twat. :^)

Your ult is only for taking gold away from your ADC/Mid/Support/Jungler/Grandmother who was moving towards the 20+ minion wave. Definitely never use it to stop the enemy from taking an objective, or for ganking another lane for your allies. Why do that when you can get an extra 200g without having to leave lane?

You wouldn't put the gold to use anyway, homie (••) ( ••)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

Sixth of all - and the most important step - make as many puns as you can. This is true of any Champion - trust me I'm a Vladimir main - so I am here to help you with some basic situations where you can make puns:

Powder Kek.

Finally, you must have Rank 7 Mastery on Gangplank. You are not allowed to play Gangplank without it, otherwise you will be unable to express your skill and exceptional prowess whenever you get a kill/die/ult/spam laugh/shitpost/take a dump.

Using the steps above, you too can play Gangplank.

obviously. :^)

TyrekGoldenspear11/3/2016, 9:09:31 PM10 votes

OMG Thank You Tides!!!! This got me to Challenger!!! :D

rtbf22561824111/4/2016, 12:07:05 AM8 votes

Finally, you must have Rank 7 Mastery on Gangplank. You are not allowed to play Gangplank without it.

So...you have to...wait...what?

How do you get Mastery 7 then? By inheriting the "Natural Plank-Talent" and unlocking it instantly upon buying the champion i guess.