Non-League Puns and Jokes, a gift for Phreak

Honestly, the Ornn champion spotlight made me want to see if we could make RiotPhreak groan with some lame puns. I know this is a tough job, and there's no way I'm doing it alone, so I need help from my fellow summoners. (Keep it clean, please, and have fun! The more eyes are rolling, the better!)

What do you call an arrogant prisoner going down a set of stairs? A condescending con descending.

Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? He's a small medium at large.

What's the difference between a well-endowed lobster and a filthy bus stop? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.

What did the mommy ghost say to the little ghost when they got in the car? "Fasten your sheetbelt!"

Did you hear about the baby tomato who got separated from his parents? He ran off on his own and they couldn't quite ketchup.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fshhh.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no ideer!

How do you make holy water? You boil the heck out of it!

What's Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

That's me for now. Let's see what you guys can do! =p