Joke thread for the people currently stuck in login
Tell me your best jokes! Or maybe even your worst! I think we all just need something to keep us from going crazy in this login queue.
39 Comments
So there were three men that died and went to Heaven (Jim, Mark, and John). When they got there St. Peter welcomed them through mighty gates and into his office. The three men then asked why they saw a large amount of ducks running around to which St. Peter responded with, "I don't know, God just likes Ducks." St. Peter then explained that there was only one rule in Heaven and that was: don't hurt the ducks. The men said that they understood and they went on their way, but at the bottom of the stairs coming from St. Peter's office Jim stepped on a duck, the duck then quacked and moved along. St. Peter then shook his head and came down and attached a 6ft long eternal chain to Jim's ankle, at the end of it was the ugliest girl he had ever seen in his entire life and now he was stuck with her. St. Peter then disappeared and the other two men went on their way. A couple of weeks had passed and both Mark and John had managed to avoid stepping on a duck until one day when Mark wasn't paying attention and heard a quack as he took a step. St. Peter then appeared, shook his head, and attached a 6ft long eternal chain to Mark's ankle, at the end was the ugliest girl he had ever seen. St. Peter then disappeared and John went on his way. Months had passed and John was begging to go insane trying to avoid hurting any ducks until one night while he was laying in bed and St. Peter appeared and attached a 6ft long eternal chain to his ankle. At the end of the chain was the most gorgeous girl that John had ever seen, she was perfect and stunning in every way. St. Peter then disappeared and John asked the woman, "What is going on?" To which she replied, "I don't know, I just stepped on a duck."
walks into a bar... there is no counter.
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mom! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
The one that always makes me laugh in skype no matter what's going on:
Why does Yasuo never get locked out of his house?.... Cause... he Hasaki!
Dota 2
The joke's on you.
Want to go out? Grab a pizza?
... (sits around on the couch as he did all day, camouflaged)
...
...
You're dull.
Yo momma's so fat, that she gains experience from all the lanes. Yo momma's so ugly, even Lee Sin didn't want her.
That's all I have. I'll think of more, maybe.
Jokes? Yeah, I know jokes!
if light is so fast, how come it never caught a ninja
Why do all black people like running? I don't know; they stop it after the second shot. Why are all black people fast? Because the slow ones are in prison. Why is Lucian the only exception to this joke? He still pretends walking deserves a cooldown.
Lee Sin walks into a bar... and a chair and a table.
Well now I can't even get in the queue, just instant rejection
Edit: Now I can, a minute after that post, magic is real
A blonde woman walks down the street. Suddenly she sees a sh!t in front of herself. She looks and says ,,Wow, it looks like a sh!t.". She takes it and says ,,In my hand, it feels like a sh!t.". She tastes it and says ,,It IS a sh!t! How lucky I am I didn't step into it!"
I'm gonna throw a brick threw Riot's windshield
Hey guys,
Thanks for all of the responses so far! Loving it :D May your queue times not be out of the boundaries of reality as mine is!
No
http://prntscr.com/a8e24l best joke of them all. The client.