Guide to that last minute ranked climb

This guide might be highly controversial but I garentee results (not really) if you use this guide

1.) ALWAYS start with puns When I say always I mean ALWAYS. The game starts, you are sitting in champ select and you need to already be thinking of those puns. The worse the pun the better. Once you hit the rift you gotta smack the enemy team in the face with that cheesy line for example.

"Wuju not blitz-kreig my jungle, that would be a breath of thresh air. Last game I got invaded and my team was rather ornn-ry with me."- some master yi player, who I may or may not be.

BUT you absolutely cannot use champion puns that are not included in your game. No matter how badly you wanna use that "Talon-ted" pun, if there isnt a talon in your game you STFU and rethink your life.

By using puns in a clear and effective method you often will solicit many "KYS" or "KMS". Thankfully "KYS" is a bannable offense and you can see a champion kicked from the game as they are banned for condoning suicide. These messages also tell you your enemies, and allies, are tilted. This makes them play worse and leads me to my second point.

2.) "THAT’S MY SECRET, CAPTAIN. I’M ALWAYS TILTED". As spoken by the famous Hulk in the avengers, the secret to ranked is to be always tilted. That way the enemy team cannot tilt you. Make sure you are like a 2 year old playing monkey ball and make sure that map is completely flipped so that everything falls off. Now the issue here is that you cannot tilt your team mates by saying negative things. This will just get you banned. Instead mute yourself in chat and just rage aloud. I often sit there cursing my allies out for their incompetency only to type "No worries that was a good play, we got this" after our tristana jumped on top of the talon and rengar who were both full hp.

To note most challenger players are always tilted like, T1, Pornstar zilean, RatIRL, Tilterella (its literally in his name), QTpie, and Trick2g to name a few. By emulating the best you too can become the best.

3.)Play only meta champions and first time them too. The saying goes how can my enemy know what I am doing, if I dont even know what I am doing? Or something like that. Well first timing a champion in ranked is a great way of emulating the sage intellect of our wise predecessors in combat. But only do it with meta champions because they are all broken and even NB3 can get away with good elo by playing them. The truth of the fact is that nobody in league actually learns by playing and thats why meta champions are so strong, because nobody actually learns how to play against them even though they face them every other game. Therefore you are safe from the basic capacity of human intellect but only in ranked.

4.) Follow tutorials you find online Especially the one from league, thornmail on ashe is sleeper OP and we all just thought it was a joke.

I hope this helps. I can't really account for your own personal agency in following this guide so results may vary.