Last played champion is trying to kill you
The thing to your right is all you have to defend yourself(left is there is nothing)
Go.
I have a fake plant, box of tissues, and a cup of dr pepper against Talon...
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I know it isnt my last played, but i wanted to make this joke anyway.
Move 4 feet to the left.
i got a light switch
a mouse
2 textbooks
a couple of pens some pencils
shoes
and crayons
wait a minute i have a mouse and laptop that is sort of to my right logs onto league quickly enters a game turns shadows off In your face zed!
I have 2 bottles of water to use against Brand. lol idk
I have a pillow, wonderful.
All I got is a box of colored pencils...
Do you think 
likes coloring?
Bug Spray.
Nidalee
vs
Laser Pointer
..i got dis
For all he knows I could be a dog ; I also have a Katana with a bowl of Ice Cream and Water next to me...
Snow shovel vs. 
Challenge accepted.
My e-cig and an empty McDonalds cup vs 
God help me.
I had a poro hat against 
HA How can you touch me now Saxton Hale ?
My friend last played is 
, and he has his wallet as his defense.
Seems legit.
I have a my cat, Roman, vs. 
.
I think I should kiss my pussy goodbye.
Fuck. I turned into Chris from Family Guy. Pillow vs Wukong. I swear if that monkey is hiding in my closet....I'mma throw my pillow at him.
Leave chocolate on my body and turn on some soothing music in hopes of enticing her?
Otherwise, all I've got is saline spray and a couple of pens...
Pocket Knife, Jar of Jam, and some other rubbish. I'm pretty sure she and Bristle couldn't follow me out the nearby window though so I should be good.
... well I'd better hope he's afraid of my cell phone, my wallet, and an empty soda can... Welp I can't run from that ulti anyway....
Also, OP...
box of tissues
I think I might know what those are for... You have a cold don't you.
A pillow vs 
Yeah...
I'm fighting Janna with a lamp.
...uh, when did I become Jax?
My buddy Tyler... I'm screwed...
Dear god, I have to defend myself against 
with a pack of gum.
I have a pillow and part of a bed. Luckily though, I'm inside and only have to worry about 
, so I should be in less trouble than most people at least. That is, unless she summons a giant tornado and sends my whole house to Oz.
Hm. 
.
I have my backpack, containing: my steak sandwich, a set of DnD dice, a pen, a multitude of nasal decongestants and pain relievers, a butter knife, and a butterfly knife.
I go for the butterfly knife, but beatrice has already stolen it. She stabs it into my arm. I grab her around the neck and dive into the lap pool, holding her underwater. I tell birdman to let it go, or the raven gets it.
, of course, has planned for this contingency. I feel my grip expand as the mass of feathers in my hand swells and becomes fleshy, until I have to reach up to keep my fingers around 's throat. , clad in his bball jersey, grabs me by the shoulders and jumps, lifting me above his head. I am dunked directly on to 's cane, which pierces my chest and spews chipped bone and cardiac muscle across the pool deck.
enjoys my steak sandwich and pets from as the real Beatrice feasts on my eyeballs.
I actually have some hand sanitizer and a pocket knife!
gg get rekt i'm screwed. I would so hate to be killed by Shaco...
maybe I can use the hand sanitizer to 
cleanse the fear from the boxes?
I'm so dead.
Oh my god, I merely have my watch against 
.
I have several DnD figures, my dice bag, my car keys, and some soda cans VS 
. I challenge him to the Tomb of Horrors. If/when he beats it, i get in my car and drive away. Immobile champ is immobile.
I have a guitar next to me. So I guess I try to put to sleep before he goes mega and crushes my face?
A glass of water vs 
i have a snickers against 
… imagines myself throwing a snickers at thresh and running
im safe for another day...