A reluctant stroll through town

Alright, Skaarl. We're headin' into one of them... towns... or whatchamacallit. First things first, no farts. We don't want no encounters with them brain weasels again.

But what if I can't hold it in?

I will tie yer bladder to yer tail to keep yer tank empty if I have to. Now... huh. Thought they woulda had them gates guarded. We just walked right on in. Oh, well.

I'm hungry.

So am I. So unless y'wanna be my dinner y'shut yer damn mouth. Now... there are some shops here. Let's see...

Fresh goat's milk, give it a try!

No, Skaarl, we're not getting you any.

I didn't say I wanted any, though-

Never trust drinks like that. Never know what they'll do to ya.

Trinkets of the lost, speaking of a never-ending torment... view my wares!

YOU GET TH'HELL AWAY FROM MAH LIZARD, CURTAIN-LEGS!

Why are we here again?

Becaaaause. You spilled all the mushroom juice I had.

Fresh fish! Free samples!

Alright, y'heard him Skaarl. Eat up.

Yum.

Hey! You better pay for all that!

Oh, I'm sorry. I recall you saying there were free samples. We took a sample, and I expect it to be FREE!

Where are you going? YOU GET THE HELL BACK HERE!

I think those are mushrooms over there.

Hm... naw. These are utter sh*t quality. Let's go.

...you're gonna regret saying that. Satanic chanting

Test your might! See if you're the legendary hero worthy of the hammer!

What's in it fer me?

Uh... anything you had in mind?

Mushrooms. The real poisonous, hallucinogenic kind.

I don't really have anything like that...

Then don't offer, DANGNABIT! *Picks up the hammer and effortlessly throws it, creating a crater halfway across town.

Gasp Y-you're the hero! Finally, I found-

Shut the hell up, girl. I ain't interested. Come on, Skaarl, let's get outta here.

Okey dokey.

Wait, come back!!!

Dang. And we didn't find no mushroom juice or mushrooms or nothin'. This day sucks a big one already.

Mercenary: Hey! You the guy who blew up half the town?

What's it t'you, stud-willy Stu?

Mercenary: My men and I are gonna have to ask politely for your cooperation. Lord Varmagil has a pretty penny in exchange for your head and the lizard.

Lizard?

Good. 'Cause I've been bored the whole gosh darn day, and it's about time I TURNED SOME HEADS INSIDE OUT! COME ON, SKAARL! YEE-HEA!