DELI WORKERS HATE THIS

Hi, I work at your friendly neighborhood deli and I'd just like to say something.

If you ask for something like, I don't know, 2 WHOLE POUNDS of this very wet FRESHLY OPENED ham SHAVED, then please don't come back 5 minutes later expecting me to have sliced YOUR MEAT in an amount of time less than 5 ETERNITIES.

Thank you, come back, and have a great day.