Bronze Ranked - Numb to defeat, apathetic to victory
I'm in Bronze. I drift between Bronze 1 and Bronze 2. In Bronze 2, most of my games are landslide victories. I get to series, I usually lose. There's often very little I can do to help, especially considering I often end up taking the supporting role. I'll try to help, I'll sit back and do my best to aid the ADC, but in the end it often feels hopeless. I don't understand what goes wrong. I don't see ways to help any more than I do. The game rolls into the enemy's favor in different lanes. I have a defensive match down in bot, and by the first time I see the jungler he already has three kills and scores a double kill under the tower. They'll take the tower, and it just gets worse from there.
If I do win the series, it's usually a tooth and nail struggle. The name of the game is team cheerleader. No matter how bad it gets I remind them we can win. The ones that believe me, the ones that focus on their farm, the ones that can contribute to teamfights will win. If the series passes, I end up in Bronze 1. I get up to about 30 points, but then it just ends. I lose 5 games in a row (happened 3 times now) and back to Bronze 2 I go. I'll win the next two games, enter series, and the cycle restarts.
My strategy is centered to passiveness. 15 CS is a kill, so not dying and earning 15 CS is practically the same as getting a kill and being executed by the turret. This doesn't work, however, when both teams are betting on snowballing. Whoever gets first blood usually gets second blood, because the champion that just died doesn't understand that the gold advantage hurts their chances of winning that 1v1 even more than the first time they tried. It's like two tectonic plates pushing against each other: one will obduct, the other will subduct. Rarely does the process reverse, rarely does the player realize "this isn't working, let me try getting my gold advantage through farm." They will allow a snowball until the /ff at 20 minutes.
And meanwhile I'm trying to keep people optimistic. I try to remind people that a death is 350 gold, and so are 15 minion kills. I remind them that one good teamfight can lose their inhibitor, one mistake at dragon or baron can lose them their game. At the 30 minute mark, if you both have complete builds, their score stops mattering and the playing field is completely level once again. All you have to do is defend and hang in there. But it doesn't matter. "gg noob fedder team".
What if I win? What if it's my team that snowballs? Well, what role do I play in that? Sure, I can help. I won a game recently as Galio mid. I put the mid laner through her paces and I won that lane, denying her all the CS. That game ended at 20 minutes to a surrender. My score was 0/0/3. I did nothing, I did not earn that win. They just gave up as my team snowballed out of control.
The end result is this feeling of helplessness. Very few times do I feel like I've actually won a game. Sometimes I pull off an incredible ult and urge my team to push, resulting in a comeback victory. These are fun games, incredible games that are pulse pounding and the only reason why I even bother. Blood rushes to your brain and you get a moment of euphoria like a shot of pure joy. I just won that, I'll think to myself, *that was me *. A 50 minute game that wraps up in my favor because of what I did and what I said to encourage people. And then the next game Aumumu feeds 6 kills and goes AFK. All of those little league points I just earned vanish, and all of that time was wasted.
The little pop-up is happy to inform me I'm in Bronze 2 again, with nothing left to do but start all over. Another few days, maybe, and I'll be in silver.