Star Wars Episode 9 - Rise of Skywalker: Spoilers

Colonel J·1/10/2020, 4:53:04 AM·1 votes·1,176 views

https://imgur.com/a/ij8iD3d

We learn that Emperor Palpatine has come back to life. He has informed the whole galaxy that he’s back. Kylo Ren, the newly christened Supreme Leader of the First Order, is hellbent on tracking Palpatine down to terminate a perceived threat to his leadership.

We then cut to a poorly choreographed slow-mo fight scene between Kylo and a bunch of alien henchmen who are guarding a mysterious gizmo. This is the 'Sith Wayfinder' - basically, a plot device/MacGuffin that acts as a GPS to Palpatine's secret lair. After seizing the Sith Wayfinder, Kylo heads to the Sith home world and confronts Emperor Palpatine. They decide to join forces. Turns out Palpatine has been pulling the strings all along and had been using Supreme Leader Snoke (the bad guy from the first two movies) as a puppet. Palpatine offers Kylo an armada of Star Destroyers. In return, all he has to do is kill the resistance fighter and Rey

We then rejoin Poe and Finn in the middle of a reconnaissance mission on the Millennium Falcon. They receive word of Kylo's plans through an anonymous spy in the First Order and are immediately attacked by a bunch of X-Wings. Poe "light skips" to a handful of different planets via hyperspace in a bid to escape the pursuers. At one point, they almost get eaten by a giant sand worm on the planet Arrakis.

Meanwhile, Rey is continuing her Jedi training with Princess-sorry, General Leia, who is far more Force-sensitive than we thought. Later on, we even get a flashback of her training with Luke between the events of Empire and Jedi, which is pretty cool. While parrying laser blasts from one of those floating, spinning droid things, Rey loses her temper and accidentally damages BB-8.

Poe and Finn return with the stolen intelligence and it's clear they both dig Rey, leading to an extremely underdeveloped love triangle. The gang decides to attack Palpatine, but first they need to find a Sith Wayfinder of their own. Apparently, Luke told Rey all about Wayfinders and the secret Sith World off-camera during the previous movie. This seems like cheap writing to us, but eh, let's go with it. With Chewie and C-3PO in tow, the team head to a planet of dancing arseholes which supposedly contains a clue to the Wayfinder's whereabouts. In other words, they're now searching for a secondary MacGuffin so they can find the primary MacGuffin. Mmkay.

Lando Calrissian shows up out of nowhere and tells them what direction to go in, before promptly buggering off again.

After implausibly falling through quick sand into an underground cavern, the gang discovers the clue they've been searching for - a knife inscribed with Sith coordinates to the Wayfinder. In a left-of-field twist, Rey discovers via flashback that this very same knife killed her parents. There's also an injured giant snake in the cavern, who Rey heals with Force power.

Unfortunately, C-3PO is the only member of the gang who can read Sith, but his programming forbids him from speaking the translation aloud. As luck would have it, Poe knows a guy called Babu who can extract forbidden data from droids, so they head off to the planet he lives on - but not before getting attacked by the First Order.

While Rey is battling Kylo Ren, Chewbacca gets captured and tossed into a prison ship. Rey attempts to stop the ship from flying away with the Force, but this inadvertently causes it to explode into a million pieces. Except it's another Star Wars fake out. Chewie was actually being held on a different enemy ship. He's still alive, but the heroes don't know it yet. The gang dejectedly heads to the aforementioned planet and meet up with Babu - a Muppet that looks like it cost approximately 60 cents to slap together. An old acquaintance and implied ex-lover of Poe's is also on the planet, but she doesn't really do much. They also recruit a new droid.

Babu succeeds in extracting the coordinates from C-3PO's noggin, but this causes his memory to be wiped. Cue lots of "R2-D2! Pleased to meet you!" nonsense for the duration of the film. Meanwhile, the First Order has tracked down the gang's general whereabouts and are searching for them on the planet. This allows Rey to sense that Chewbacca is still alive so they break into the Star Destroyer and stage a daring rescue.

Finn, Poe and C-3PO are all captured and sent off to be shot. At the last minute, they are rescued by General Hux. Hux is the anonymous spy who has been secretly working with the resistance. Hux is immediately executed for letting the prisoners escape.

Meanwhile, Rey is having another lightsaber duel with Kylo Ren. They do the whole "come to the Dark Side!", "No! Come to the Light Side!" thing, with Rey appearing to lose more ground. Kylo reveals his plan to kill Palpatine and rule the galaxy alongside Rey. For a second, it looks like Rey might take his hand, but instead she hightails it and escapes with her friends.

The Sith coordinates send them to the ruins of the original Death Star on an ocean planet. Somewhere within is the Sith Wayfinder which will lead them to the Emperor. But first they meet up with some more friendly randoms (there are a lot of friendly randoms in this movie.)

While all this is going on, Rey decides to head to the Death Star alone. She finds the Sith Wayfinder but is immediately confronted by Dark Rey, a vision of her greatest fear. Before Rey has time to process all this, Kylo Ren shows up to reveal her true parentage. She's a Palpatine.

Before she can stop him, Kylo destroys the Wayfinder. They then go toe-to-toe with their lightsabers, but Rey's heart isn't in it. She basically gives up and invites death. Just as he's about to kill her, General Leia reaches out telepathically to her son Kylo and manages to awaken the good inside him. Oddly, Rey uses this tender moment to skewer him through the chest with her lightsaber. Leia dies. Reaching out telepathically across the galaxy used too much Force, just like it did with her brother Luke.

Rey uses her giant-snake-healing trick to patch up Kylo's injuries. She then hijacks his ship and flees to Luke's refuge planet where she intends to hide forever because of her attraction to the Dark Side.

Kylo is visited by the ghost of his father, Han Solo, who convinces him to return to the Light and start calling himself Ben again. He tosses his red lighsaber into the ocean.

On her hideaway planet, Rey is confronted by the Force ghost of Luke Skywalker. She explains the Palpatine connection but he convinced her to confront him anyway. The only problem is she doesn't have a Sith Wayfinder. Fortunately there's still one inside Kylo Ren's ship which she stole earlier.

This sets things up for the final confrontation. The rebels launch a hopeless attack against the Sith Home World's fleet as Rey confronts Palpatine. She aims to kill him - but that's exactly what he wants.

Ben then shows up to help Rey defeat the Emperor and both get thoroughly thrashed. Palpatine chucks Ben off a cliff and knocks Rey out with lightning bolts from his fingers. Meanwhile, the Resistance is getting its arse handed to it in the skies above. BUT! A bunch of friendly randoms show up along with Lando and the tide starts to turn the tide. At the same time, Rey throws everything she has at Palpatine and manages to vaporise him with his own lightning bolts. She then slumps to the floor, dead.

Ben, who isn't quite dead yet, cradles the lifeless body of Rey and uses his own life force to resurrect her. They share a quick kiss and then he dies.

After some celebrations there's a timeskip. Rey and BB-8 return to the birthplace of Luke to bury his lightsaber. A stranger asks who she is. After a brief pause she turns to look at the smiling ghosts of Luke and Leia and replies: "Rey... Skywalker".

Spoilers from - https://www.gq.com/story/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-spoilers-review

5 Comments

Dreamspitter1/10/2020, 7:07:58 AM1 votes

[{quoted}](name=Colonel J,realm=NA,application-id=yrc23zHg,discussion-id=8EjnAM7O,comment-id=,timestamp=2020-01-10T04:53:04.407+0000)

https://imgur.com/a/ij8iD3d

We learn that Emperor Palpatine has come back to life. He has informed the whole galaxy that he’s back. Kylo Ren, the newly christened Supreme Leader of the First Order, is hellbent on tracking Palpatine down to terminate a perceived threat to his leadership.

We then cut to a poorly choreographed slow-mo fight scene between Kylo and a bunch of alien henchmen who are guarding a mysterious gizmo. This is the 'Sith Wayfinder' - basically, a plot device/MacGuffin that acts as a GPS to Palpatine's secret lair. After seizing the Sith Wayfinder, Kylo heads to the Sith home world and confronts Emperor Palpatine. They decide to join forces. Turns out Palpatine has been pulling the strings all along and had been using Supreme Leader Snoke (the bad guy from the first two movies) as a puppet. Palpatine offers Kylo an armada of Star Destroyers. In return, all he has to do is kill the resistance fighter and Rey

We then rejoin Poe and Finn in the middle of a reconnaissance mission on the Millennium Falcon. They receive word of Kylo's plans through an anonymous spy in the First Order and are immediately attacked by a bunch of X-Wings. Poe "light skips" to a handful of different planets via hyperspace in a bid to escape the pursuers. At one point, they almost get eaten by a giant sand worm on the planet Arrakis.

Meanwhile, Rey is continuing her Jedi training with Princess-sorry, General Leia, who is far more Force-sensitive than we thought. Later on, we even get a flashback of her training with Luke between the events of Empire and Jedi, which is pretty cool. While parrying laser blasts from one of those floating, spinning droid things, Rey loses her temper and accidentally damages BB-8.

Poe and Finn return with the stolen intelligence and it's clear they both dig Rey, leading to an extremely underdeveloped love triangle. The gang decides to attack Palpatine, but first they need to find a Sith Wayfinder of their own. Apparently, Luke told Rey all about Wayfinders and the secret Sith World off-camera during the previous movie. This seems like cheap writing to us, but eh, let's go with it. With Chewie and C-3PO in tow, the team head to a planet of dancing arseholes which supposedly contains a clue to the Wayfinder's whereabouts. In other words, they're now searching for a secondary MacGuffin so they can find the primary MacGuffin. Mmkay.

Lando Calrissian shows up out of nowhere and tells them what direction to go in, before promptly buggering off again.

After implausibly falling through quick sand into an underground cavern, the gang discovers the clue they've been searching for - a knife inscribed with Sith coordinates to the Wayfinder. In a left-of-field twist, Rey discovers via flashback that this very same knife killed her parents. There's also an injured giant snake in the cavern, who Rey heals with Force power.

Unfortunately, C-3PO is the only member of the gang who can read Sith, but his programming forbids him from speaking the translation aloud. As luck would have it, Poe knows a guy called Babu who can extract forbidden data from droids, so they head off to the planet he lives on - but not before getting attacked by the First Order.

While Rey is battling Kylo Ren, Chewbacca gets captured and tossed into a prison ship. Rey attempts to stop the ship from flying away with the Force, but this inadvertently causes it to explode into a million pieces. Except it's another Star Wars fake out. Chewie was actually being held on a different enemy ship. He's still alive, but the heroes don't know it yet. The gang dejectedly heads to the aforementioned planet and meet up with Babu - a Muppet that looks like it cost approximately 60 cents to slap together. An old acquaintance and implied ex-lover of Poe's is also on the planet, but she doesn't really do much. They also recruit a new droid.

Babu succeeds in extracting the coordinates from C-3PO's noggin, but this causes his memory to be wiped. Cue lots of "R2-D2! Pleased to meet you!" nonsense for the duration of the film. Meanwhile, the First Order has tracked down the gang's general whereabouts and are searching for them on the planet. This allows Rey to sense that Chewbacca is still alive so they break into the Star Destroyer and stage a daring rescue.

Finn, Poe and C-3PO are all captured and sent off to be shot. At the last minute, they are rescued by General Hux. Hux is the anonymous spy who has been secretly working with the resistance. Hux is immediately executed for letting the prisoners escape.

Meanwhile, Rey is having another lightsaber duel with Kylo Ren. They do the whole "come to the Dark Side!", "No! Come to the Light Side!" thing, with Rey appearing to lose more ground. Kylo reveals his plan to kill Palpatine and rule the galaxy alongside Rey. For a second, it looks like Rey might take his hand, but instead she hightails it and escapes with her friends.

The Sith coordinates send them to the ruins of the original Death Star on an ocean planet. Somewhere within is the Sith Wayfinder which will lead them to the Emperor. But first they meet up with some more friendly randoms (there are a lot of friendly randoms in this movie.)

While all this is going on, Rey decides to head to the Death Star alone. She finds the Sith Wayfinder but is immediately confronted by Dark Rey, a vision of her greatest fear. Before Rey has time to process all this, Kylo Ren shows up to reveal her true parentage. She's a Palpatine.

Before she can stop him, Kylo destroys the Wayfinder. They then go toe-to-toe with their lightsabers, but Rey's heart isn't in it. She basically gives up and invites death. Just as he's about to kill her, General Leia reaches out telepathically to her son Kylo and manages to awaken the good inside him. Oddly, Rey uses this tender moment to skewer him through the chest with her lightsaber. Leia dies. Reaching out telepathically across the galaxy used too much Force, just like it did with her brother Luke.

Rey uses her giant-snake-healing trick to patch up Kylo's injuries. She then hijacks his ship and flees to Luke's refuge planet where she intends to hide forever because of her attraction to the Dark Side.

Kylo is visited by the ghost of his father, Han Solo, who convinces him to return to the Light and start calling himself Ben again. He tosses his red lighsaber into the ocean.

On her hideaway planet, Rey is confronted by the Force ghost of Luke Skywalker. She explains the Palpatine connection but he convinced her to confront him anyway. The only problem is she doesn't have a Sith Wayfinder. Fortunately there's still one inside Kylo Ren's ship which she stole earlier.

This sets things up for the final confrontation. The rebels launch a hopeless attack against the Sith Home World's fleet as Rey confronts Palpatine. She aims to kill him - but that's exactly what he wants.

Ben then shows up to help Rey defeat the Emperor and both get thoroughly thrashed. Palpatine chucks Ben off a cliff and knocks Rey out with lightning bolts from his fingers. Meanwhile, the Resistance is getting its arse handed to it in the skies above. BUT! A bunch of friendly randoms show up along with Lando and the tide starts to turn the tide. At the same time, Rey throws everything she has at Palpatine and manages to vaporise him with his own lightning bolts. She then slumps to the floor, dead.

Ben, who isn't quite dead yet, cradles the lifeless body of Rey and uses his own life force to resurrect her. They share a quick kiss and then he dies.

After some celebrations there's a timeskip. Rey and BB-8 return to the birthplace of Luke to bury his lightsaber. A stranger asks who she is. After a brief pause she turns to look at the smiling ghosts of Luke and Leia and replies: "Rey... Skywalker".

Spoilers from - https://www.gq.com/story/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-spoilers-review

I watched Shadiversity's video on all the problems with RoS.

[sg-janna]

Linna Excel1/10/2020, 4:20:05 PM1 votes

It's basically video game mcguffin quest because rainman johnson had to be a special snowflake and not properly follow up TFA. It's very quick and it's pretty obvious that JJ was trying to course correct the last movie, but needed 2 films to do it in.