Boards›General Discussion

Gd, seriously, what the hell happened to me in this situation?

DaddyForDollars·8/23/2017, 12:40:18 AM·1 votes·562 views

So i met up with my ex last night and we talked about a lot of things. We talked about the past, we showed each other our phones to show we weren't talking to other people and we chatted and laughed mostly. We argued a bit. It got late and the night ended on a slightly bad note cause we started talking about something i wanted to talk about, but nothing serious. We even hugged and got close to each other. Overall, pretty well.

The next day she had college classes- 9-3:15. So i messaged her around 1230 and said something basic and nice "have a great day today" and figured she might actually be busy so she'd respond at like 3:30 when she got out.

3:30 comes around and nothing. So i wait till almost SIX and finally i have to reach out to her again. I make something up so it seems like i have a reason to contact her and i say "hey, theres an event going on in X and its gunna be for a few days, wanna come with?" She starts asking details and then hits me with a "i'll let you know whats going on."

I get annoyed and say" can't you just LITERALLY look at your work schedule and see when you're off?"

She ignores this and said she went to her friends house to do schoolwork. I later asked her if she's gunna check her schedule and what her snapchat is.

She proceeds to respond to those questions with "im at dinner" notice how she's not telling me when she's free (PURPOSELY BY THE WAY. I SAW HER MESSAGES TO FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK AND SHE TELLS THEM WITHOUT HESITATION HER SCHEDULE) another thing to note is that i got onto her FB before and saw that she looked up other guys (usually bigger dudes with beards "manly guys" but almost NEVER looked me up. i don't doubt she may have had another profile for this, but still.)

So now i'm getting ANGRY and i start mocking her and being childish essentially. She proceeds to just say "stop. im at dinner." which, by the way guys, i had NO way of knowing she was at dinner because she purposely withheld this information from me. So i'm confused as to how she expects me to KNOW this. Then we just argue.

What happened? Where did i go wrong? I had this vision in my head where we would slowly start going on dates and rebuilding attraction. Was she just looking for closure? She was "too busy" to text me all day but not busy for her friend or going out to dinner or doing all sorts of "fun activities" but had no time to send a simple text? "Dude she's not intersted"

If she's not interested why has she not been with anyone else sexually aside from me( i'm her first) and why did she agree to meet me late last night and spend hours talking? Did i overthink it? Is there any hope now?

This girl doesn't realize i'm risking a lot wasting my time in the current state (like i live in florida where theres no job opportunities) by staying with her and she doesn't understand/ care about it.

I know i'm a bad person guys, but i'm just really distraught about this. I had a vision of what was going to actually happen and it didn't happen like that at all.

I know i "shouldn't have blown her up" but it's SO obvious she's purposely ignoring me. Even you guys can tell this. Of course she'll say" i was seriously busy" but c'mon. We know the truth.

Where did i go wrong? I tried to truly and geniunely apologize to her. I really wanted a fresh start with her and had a vision we would start going on dates again and having fun and she'd eventually start coming back to my place. Instead i texted her "have a good day" and she ignored me the whole day. Literally. On purpose. Then she says i'm "harassing her". Dude! We just had a 3 hour long talk last night at a dunkin donuts! What the fuck I'M harassing YOU!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT IF YOU DIDN'T WANNA FIX THINGS?!

23 Comments

Lord Dusteon8/23/2017, 12:54:56 AM5 votes

[{quoted}](name=The flex z0ne,realm=NA,application-id=yrc23zHg,discussion-id=5zYLvFbv,comment-id=,timestamp=2017-08-23T00:40:18.698+0000)

The next day she had college classes- 9-3:15. So i messaged her around 1230 and said something basic and nice "have a great day today" and figured she might actually be busy so she'd respond at like 3:30 when she got out.

3:30 comes around and nothing. So i wait till almost SIX and finally i have to reach out to her again. I make something up so it seems like i have a reason to contact her and i say "hey, theres an event going on in X and its gunna be for a few days, wanna come with?" She starts asking details and then hits me with a "i'll let you know whats going on."

I get annoyed and say" can't you just LITERALLY look at your work schedule and see when you're off?"

No, she can't because she has to check any previous plans, any plans other friends already had, and any other various tasks that take precedence. Stop being a whiny bitch and respect that she isn't going to drop everything to instantly check for you.

Even more annoying when you "make something up" so you are getting angry at her for not instantly saying she'll do something that doesn't even exist since you lied about it.

She ignores this and said she went to her friends house to do schoolwork. I later asked her if she's gunna check her schedule and what her snapchat is.

She proceeds to respond to those questions with "im at dinner" notice how she's not telling me when she's free (PURPOSELY BY THE WAY. I SAW HER MESSAGES TO FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK AND SHE TELLS THEM WITHOUT HESITATION HER SCHEDULE) another thing to note is that i got onto her FB before and saw that she looked up other guys (usually bigger dudes with beards "manly guys" but almost NEVER looked me up. i don't doubt she may have had another profile for this, but still.)

So now i'm getting ANGRY and i start mocking her and being childish essentially. She proceeds to just say "stop. im at dinner." which, by the way guys, i had NO way of knowing she was at dinner because she purposely withheld this information from me. So i'm confused as to how she expects me to KNOW this. Then we just argue.

You fucking idiot. You LITERALLY wrote, one paragraph above this, she said she is at dinner. You know how you can tell she's at dinner? BECAUSE SHE JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU. So reminder: you got angry and mocked her because you ignored everything she said.

Where did i go wrong? I tried to truly and geniunely apologize to her. I really wanted a fresh start with her and had a vision we would start going on dates again and having fun and she'd eventually start coming back to my place. Instead i texted her "have a good day" and she ignored me the whole day. Literally. On purpose. Then she says i'm "harassing her". Dude! We just had a 3 hour long talk last night at a dunkin donuts! What the fuck I'M harassing YOU!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT IF YOU DIDN'T WANNA FIX THINGS?!

Let's see, you purposefully lied to her, then got angry that she didn't drop everything for you. You blew up at her because you were too busy fucking around to listen. Frankly you are a manipulative, egotistical piece of shit and she probably spent time in the vain hope you had changed. Your behavior proved otherwise.

2nd Chance8/23/2017, 1:04:17 AM5 votes

One day people will stop taking this guy's bait

MagicFlyingLlama8/23/2017, 12:50:45 AM3 votes

Not sure if troll post..

Yeah, definitely troll post.

ZenithEevee8/23/2017, 4:50:39 PM1 votes

Well, First off..

you're trying to hook it back up with your ex...

Second off, holy fuck the entitlement. You need to understand if she doesnt want you, Then she doesn't want you

Meep Man8/23/2017, 5:02:20 PM1 votes

Feel like this is just a classic situation of overthinking and thinking too far in advance. A relationship isn't a plan or anything of the sorts. You don't plan out how something will go and expect it to happen exactly that way. You just go with the flow and if things get complicated, you gotta make the decision to weather the storm or kick the bucket. Don't expect things to go as planned.

Also, a 3 hour talk at Dunkin Dounughts ain't shit. That's just hanging out. I hang out for hours with friends all the time. Maybe she doesn't want to be in a relationship, maybe just friends? You don't decide what something is, that's up to both participating parties. Don't force anything or deny what something was to someone else. If the DD thing was just a friendly meet up for her, it was a friendly meet up.

Also...

She proceeds to respond to those questions with "im at dinner"

And...

She proceeds to just say "stop. im at dinner." which, by the way guys, i had NO way of knowing she was at dinner because she purposely withheld this information from me

Didn't she tell you she as at dinner at the start of the conversation according to you? Or am I reading this wrong?

The MechE8/23/2017, 5:19:39 PM1 votes

If you're being serious, it sounds like you really want this girl's attention, but wanting someone's attention and being very impatient is a recipe for disaster. I'm being very serious here. Bad! Do not harass someone because they aren't responding to you and expect it to end well.

I think you had an okay intention in mind by inviting her to an event but no reason to lie. Invite her to a real event next time (if you get a next time). Also be patient

"But how patient should I be?"

As long as it takes, it takes. If the event has a deadline for you to prepare, etc. so you aren't stressed at last minute acceptance, let them know the deadline and leave it at that.

DaddyForDollars8/23/2017, 12:42:21 AM1 votes

Any real advice would be appreciated. I know i'm a bad guy, but i'm real sad about this.

What did i do wrong? Does the context of the date matter? Are any of you guys good at understanding social situations and you can figure out what she was trying to get out of the date and what went right or wrong? Any relevant questions?

ModBoggyBuntu8/23/2017, 5:24:31 PM1 votes

and the romantic saga keeps going on

also i saw that bump, no need to delete it tbh

Curious Kat8/23/2017, 1:16:47 AM1 votes

Well, all memes and silliness aside, why are you still making a fuss over an EX? If you feel she is withholding info, why would you want to willingly even try to get back with someone who STILL isn't being upfront with you? Why are you letting her get to you and bother you?

If you even get the hint that she is lookin at other people, and have any sort of proof outside of a wild guess or jealousy, then again, WHY fret over her?

My advice is to move on. If she isn't being upfront with you now, there is no chance for it later. How can you ever trust someone like that?

Even if by some miracle yall got together, would it really be a relationship? You would spend every waking hour wondering if she really is looking elsewhere. It would always be on your mind, you would always ask about it, and it would always create a fight.

My spidey senses are tingling good sir, and those senses tell me you found a snake.

Or you could have totally over reacted. Anything is possible. But in my opinion, if you have solid proof that she just isn't being upfront with you and her schedule, then maybe she really isn't interested, or maybe she doesn't even know what shes doing herself. Or maybe, she is just a typical THOTTTTTTT that needs to BEGONENNNNENENEEN

Nęçrømąnçęr8/23/2017, 4:30:48 PM1 votes

Probably bait.

If it's not it's seem obvious as to why she was your ex to begin with. I wouldn't date you. You're selfish and very quick to anger for very little reason simply because your selfish wants aren't being treated by others as needs.