Animal Conspiracy theories that actually make sense

Well what else to say...i got so incredibly bored that i hit a joint and started talking with my brother about animals. The discussion became so silly and outright dumb i decided to share it with others.

• Birds are Spy Drones

Birds are not animals but high tech Drones designed to spy on us. Their Flight patterns can be greatly shifted by changes/disruptions in the earths magnetic field and some "rediscovered" races seem to appear out of nowhere. Just think about this: Penguins in South America make no sense.

• Cats want to rule the world.

They already managed to be gods in old egypt, they will try to reclaim their position as the superior species.

• Dogs are secretly servants of hell

Yes, they may be sweet, they may act caring. But none of my enemies or nightmares would look me in the eyes while taking a shit on my floor.

• Sloths aren't Lazy. They are just good actors.

They pretend to be asleep so they can lure in false hunters and strike them down with all their hatred. Or how do you explain that an animal that suppostedly sleeps over 22h a day keeps itself well hydraded, stable feeding and somehow still arrives in mindbuggling places to nap

• Orcas are Victims

The Orca, also labeled as the Killer-whale is not a killer. He was framed by the evil Sea Lions.

• Dolphins are failed experiments for creating underwater-humans.

They display 1:1 the very same personality traits. Dolphins just like humans can argue over just about anything, can be attracted to puppies, they have sex just because and when overemotional they emit screams we sadists receive as beautiful singing whereas their fellow dolphins see annoyance in it.

Writing this was fun. I should join my brother for a smoke more often lol.