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[Diary Post] I don't think I will find love for a long time or keep searching for it

How Do You Meta·10/14/2017, 3:17:11 AM·2 votes·304 views

I'm kinda sick of trying the online dating route because either I end up getting people who want to hookup or people who act interested and then somewhere along the line ghost me, especially after last minute cancelling dates. I almost asked some friends around to match me with someone but I sort of hesitated. I never been in relationship so its something I don't really know how to approach.

What I kinda of realized is that I'm already super busy with work, school, and self care and sometimes I feel so stretched thin from all of my responsibilities and self improvement. I'm not sure I have the time to fit into my busy life for someone else. It's not like I can't make time for people, I just don't know if I can devote a ton of time in a relationship. If I truly cared about someone, I would make all the time in the world for them, but that hasn't ever happened.

I feel like I'm damaged goods and like I am a social pariah. I'm not into the hookup culture and I'm always single, so its like I'm a double failure in both the LGBT and straight community when I see everyone is jumping from one person to another like a pack of jack rabbits.

I feel like all I can and already do is just work on myself and continue my studies and career building while adding some socializing such as volunteer work and hosting meetup groups. Maybe after college I can find more stability in my life to think about being with someone, but in the meantime I'm just stuck with myself.

It just sucks, I want to spend time with someone by cooking with them, sharing life experiences, watching tv together, and just knowing that all I need is them, but I don't know what to do to achieve that or if I am ready for it at all. I don't want to rush into something and get other people hurt. Maybe being alone is the only thing I can handle on a good day.

I should just keep focusing on my career and my well being; all of this emotional stuff is just not right for me.

16 Comments

DariusDemiurge10/14/2017, 3:20:55 AM2 votes

Society sucks and how it has been molded over the years into hedonistic ways.

WhiteUranium10/14/2017, 3:25:09 AM1 votes

Oh trust me, I definitely understand where you're coming from. Perhaps from a slightly different viewpoint, but it's close.

At the end of the day, that special someone will come along, is how I've thought about it. People who are into hook up culture are all fine and dandy, in my humble opinion, but I never was part of the crowd. Get emotionally attached to people too easily, and that just wouldn't be healthy for neither me or the other person.

But don't give up hope. Sure, it's good to focus on yourself and all (and it's especially better to do so, in my opinion, until you find the right person, because I put myself in a situation where I was in something for a year before realizing the other person was cheating, and I'll take being single and being a lil down about it over having to find that out again any day of the week)

I'll leave you with this: The person you find that is going to be that long terms someone shouldn't be someone you're "okay" with, or "fine". You have to be overjoyed to hang with that person, or to share some dinner. Because eventually, the glamour and beauty of it being "something new" will wear off, and it takes a ton to love someone enough to spend the rest of your life with em.

Cheers and Good Luck! -WhiteUraniumChogath

Proxy34510/14/2017, 3:31:36 AM1 votes

This thread makes me think about the other side of the fence,those people who literally cannot handle being single at all and feel the need to always have a partner,I think its definitely a good thing to focus on yourself more.

Also some people see being single as a disease lol which is funny to me.

CLG ear10/14/2017, 3:36:01 AM1 votes

keep hope alive you are somebody

Colonel J10/14/2017, 3:37:56 AM1 votes

I could say the same for many people here.

Niyume10/14/2017, 3:38:36 AM1 votes

Ha, I'm kind of the opposite of you. I've never been stretched for time despite school and work and all that, but I've never had friends or been on a date or anything like that. I tried online dating for a while (by a while I mean 6 years), I tried talking to people in real life, but I never found anyone to spend time with (either as friends or dating). I wish I could find people that actually want to be around me, but it seems like the whole world is in on this shunning, and I eventually just gave up.

I don't really understand the whole "working on yourself" thing, or why people always think they have so little time to do anything, but I think it's best to just keep living your life how you want to, and don't worry about dating or anything like that. If it happens, it happens. If not, you should still be happy with your life.

CamilleRule3410/14/2017, 4:30:12 AM1 votes

Stop looking for love, hook up with people, let love blossom from your conjoined genitalia.

Hear me out, sex is generally the most awkward situation you can be in, two sweaty mushy bodies pressing against each other. If you can get railed, or rail someone, and still feel like "Hey man wanna catch a movie after this?" congrats you've found love.

Don't subscribe to the conservative notion that sex has to come after love. All that matters is that love cums.

Incognonymous10/14/2017, 4:59:28 AM1 votes

Be the best you that you can be.

Our biological directive is to proliferate. We've been equipped by billions of years of evolution. By being the best you that you can be, you increase your chances of finding a mate with characteristics that may be beneficial to the next generation.