Things have really changed for me in the past several months

I admit, this whole post is just to vent about things that has been happening in the past few months for me. I know this might not be the place to talk about it, but the league community has been good to me for the most part (yea I just said that). This is gunna be really long, and I apologize if it sounds like I’m fishing for sympathy. That’s not what I’m going for, I just want to talk. So prepare yourselves.

I guess it really started last December when I finished my 5th semester at my community college and thought I could transfer to the university my parents graduated from. Well they didn’t accept me because I was missing a lab, and I didn’t have good enough ACT scores to transfer anyway. It sucked, but I though it was just another bump in the road. I got over it. Looking back that’s when it hit the fan.

I hate science. Natural science, chemistry, and math are my worst subjects. I was thankful that this teacher was willing to help me more than the teachers I had in the other subjects, but it didn’t change the fact that it was a hard subject anyway. Not just for me, but it was an advanced class. I don’t even remember what else I took this spring, all I remember was struggling in biology.

My job was also getting rough. Normally, my boss is very laid back and understanding, but he became so grumpy the last few months I was working for him, constantly making threats to fire people for the smallest things. At least my other two bosses tried to keep things from getting out of hand. We did get things sorted out later, and I do like him, but it was a rough 3 months. I also had a lot of issues with someone else who thought was my boss, but that’s another story. Basically he hated the fact that he was a janitor and not a maintenance worker like me and my best friend, so he tried to make our lives miserable.

After all that though, that wasn’t the worst part. My sister passed away in a car accident. She was about to be 19. So I was in deep mourning, I was caring for my parents, and I had exams in a few weeks. It was also my decision on whether or not we should make her an organ donor. I said she should be since she was a practicing nurse, but it wasn’t an easy decision.

Before all of this, my cousin who I thought was my friend since we were kids, started acting crazy because of his stupid wife. And after all this they finally lost it and I had to cut all ties with him. He still sends me league friend requests, and I always decline them. As much as I started to hate what he was doing, I always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and then I’m just a few days I wanted nothing more to do with either of them. Looking back he was never a good friend, but it still hurts.

I’m finally living at the university I wanted to go to. But last week it all kinda dawned on me. I started having breakdowns because I still miss my sister, I still need a chemistry course, one of my classes for my major is hard to understand, and I’m away from home. Things are improving, I spoke to a student counselor, but it’s still difficult.

One thing that kept me sane through all of this was video games. Mainly league, overwatch, cod zombies, halo wars 2, and bloodborne. Now I dropped the first 3 because those companies have been doing so many practices I don’t stand for. As stupid as it may seem it does hurt that I refuse to play those games and not buy the next cod out of protest, but I still love them.

I don’t really know what the point of this was, but I guess something you can take from this is that if things are looking really bad, just keep going. I haven’t found the light at the end of my tunnel yet, but I know it’s there. I got friends and family that’s helping me get there, and I’m sure you do too.

Gotta be like , just need to keep moving forward.