Perma ban me already please

I've invested around 4 years of my life playing this game spending about 10-16 hours a day during the summer and a pretty high amount of hours during school time because I really enjoyed the game at the beginning and I wanted to get better. Back in the day I used to play normals for fun and even though I tryharded as much as possible to win game because I've always been a competitive person, thats not enough. At the beginning of this season I got quite seriously into rankeds and decided to climb and as much as I hate to say this, I feel like all the years I've been playing this game have amounted to nothing. I feel like I'm not good enough, I feel like I have bad karma or whatever you want to call it, no matter how much I struggle the enemy team will always do better than mine in most of the games. Take this as the typical excuse or whatever you want to say, the replays of my games are on op.gg for whoever wants to see that around 80% of my last 20 games have been completely pointless. I cant understand how pro players can have around 80% winrates on smurf accs, most games feel completely unwinable no matter how good a single player is in a team.

I've also got permabanned on 2 accounts and I thought I had reformed myself but I cant help to burst in rage when a game doesnt go the way its supposed to go, I cant bear this anymore. I'd really like to get IP banned so I can stop playing this game for real.