8 year player stepping away from League, why

Not that anyone cares if just one random person leaves League, I felt like I should share why. Maybe to see how many people feel the same way. First I want to start off by saying my reason for stepping away has nothing to do with how Riot has crafted the game.

Quick backstory of what kind of league player I was, I got to gold once just to prove i could. In between that, I was super casual. Normal games, ARAM, custom games, that's pretty much it.

I consider myself mechanically sound at the game, I'm comfortable at my skill level. What I'm not comfortable with is the anxiety the game has been giving me. And yet, I kept playing. I wouldn't mind a loss or two, but after the losses started to pile up, just looking at the match history of my profile would make me very angry. More so than most people I'd argue.

With every consecutive loss, I felt more determined to break the combo. This applied to Normals, Ranked, and yes even ARAM. I was that guy who try-harded in ARAM. Losing just didn't feel fun, when I was new to the game I didn't care as much, I'm sure this happened to everyone. But, Winning also didn't have the gratification I was looking for. I'd get frustrated even if my team was winning, complaining on Mumble/Skype/Discord to my premade on how stupid our PuG player was.

There was a lot of negativity I brought to anyone around me when i played. I've lost friends over raging, and I've gotten banned a fair number of times. I've gotten better over the years. But today I realized that the common variable in all this stress, anger, and anxiety was me.

I just don't fit in anymore, I've gotten a lot from League, but I've also lost a bit of my self to it. I felt addicted to the game, even though in reflection I wasn't enjoying it.

If anyone feels the same way, I'd love to read.

Thanks,

=)

TL;DR Played casually, raged at consecutive losses, raged at friends, lost friends. Game gives me anxiety. I need to quit.